Articles tagged with: mailbag
Should a married gay couple move to Alaska?
Soon after posting the letter from the graduate student, Bent Alaska received the following letter from Matt and Al asking if their dream of living in Alaska is realistic for them as a married gay couple.
Although Matt lived outside of Fairbanks for 2 years as a kid, he wouldn’t be returning to a familiar place and family members like the grad student. But their main question is the same – what is it like to live and work in Alaska as an openly-LGBT adult? So we’re adding this letter to our Choosing Alaska series and encouraging you to reply.
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My husband, Al, and I are deciding where we would like to settle and Alaska is at the top of our list. I am from Texas and moved to the UK 4 years ago where I met Al. We are interested in Alaska because of what it offers in day to day life: the cool/cold climate, expansive outdoors, fascinated by the long winter nights and relish the long summer days, and the accessibility to buying enough land to keep chickens and other livestock as well as build a decent sized greenhouse to grow as much of our own herbs and vegetables as possible. We also like the low population density yielding plenty of privacy when at home, of which we want to do a self-build from kit–we want to physically contribute to building our home. Work wise, we both come from information technology corporate or retail management backgrounds, though we have considered drawing on Al’s experience growing up in a pub with rooms to start/buy a bed and breakfast.
Living in the UK has afforded us a degree of acceptance that I as an American did not think possible. I am seen simply by my name, not labeled as being gay; I am judged as a person, nothing more or less. Living across the US from CA, TX, and VA, I know that acceptance is not as enjoyable as my experience in Europe. My biggest concern with moving to Alaska is that because it is one of the last frontiers, it may be a large backward in the experience of acceptance than what I am used to. I appreciate that my husband and I may not be able to walk down the street holding hands without at least some hard glares. I would actually expect worse, such as reactive hate crimes, but don’t truly know. That’s what I am trying to gauge and understand.
Al and I will be visiting Alaska for a few weeks next year and will be making it a point to experience as much of the local vibe as possible. In the meantime, I would appreciate any considerations or experiences you have to share to help set my own realistic expectations.
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Readers, what do you think? Leave a comment below, or email us directly at Bent Alaska @ gmail .com (without the spaces), and we will post your response (anonymous posts are ok.) Help this gay couple and others decide whether or not they will settle in Alaska.
And if you have a topic you’d like to see on Bent Alaska, please tell us about it!
Choosing Alaska: Acceptance in non-profits and having a good attitude
We recently posted a letter from a graduate student asking for advice from openly-LGBT Alaskans. What is it like to be an out professional in Alaska?
Our readers responded, sharing their reasons for living in Alaska and their experiences as LGBT. We’re posting their stories in a new series called Choosing Alaska.
The second response was from Kris. (Read the first reply HERE.)
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Hello, Friends!
So let’s be clear: I am not actually who you wanted to hear from. I am not a born and raised LGBTetc Alaskan who studied out of state and then returned. Who I am, is an open, out, proud LGBTetc individual who was raised in New England, studied in New York and then eventually moved to Alaska to live my life the way I chose.
My name is Kris and I am a 27 year old gender-queer individual who was born female-bodied and has chosen to make my life surrounded by other gender-queers, lesbians, dykes and whatever the heck else people want to call themselves. I have a wonderful partner and although we are still building our relationship and life together, she is for sure an amazing woman whom I am openly, 100% of the time, proud to be with.
I am a Victim Advocate and have and do work with several non-profits including the YWCA Anchorage, Covenant House Alaska and Standing Together Against Rape (STAR). I have a Masters level education and consider myself to be both a role model and advocate within the professional community here in Anchorage for equality and a focus on LGBTetc issues. I volunteer with various youth initiatives, donate time to conferences and other educational causes and make a general effort to put myself out there in a positive light for the communities I exist within.
So why Alaska? Really, the question is “why not?” Sure, it’s small here. Which is ironic given the size of the state, but what does that matter, really? It doesn’t matter how large or small a locales queer community is. What matters is what you make of it, the relationships you choose to cultivate and how you portray that community to the others which you exist in. Working in the non-profit sector I find that I am generally surrounded by queer-positive people. This, of course, is not always the case for people in other professions, so I do acknowledge the slant in my perspective.
If I came here with the mindset that this was another small town (New Hampshire is full of them, I am no stranger!) and I was bound to lead a life of internalized homophobia and guilt and shame, then that is exactly what would have happened. Instead, I sought out resources, organizations and like-minded, progressive individuals. I made no attempt at masking who I am or what I believe in and I never apologized for who I am.
I have a self-made attitude that exudes, “I’m here. This is who I am. This is what I bring to the table. How can we help each other?” Would this be what happened if I had gone back to the sleepy town I grew up in? You better believe it. And for awhile, it did. And without incident. I didn’t come to Alaska to run away from a small town’s LGBTetc’s hot mess. I came to Alaska, in part, to participate in that small town community, and this just happens to be who I am.
Sincerely,
Another out, proud, educated professional in Alaska
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Thanks, Kris!
What is your experience of being LGBT in Alaska? Leave a comment below, or email us directly at Bent Alaska @ gmail .com (without the spaces), and we will include your response in a follow up post. And if you have another topic you’d like to see on Bent Alaska, please tell us about it!
Why should LGBT college students return to Alaska after graduation?
Bent Alaska received a great topic request from an Alaska-raised grad student who is studying in the lower 48: What is it like to be an openly LGBT professional in Alaska?
I’m a new reader to your blog and 18-year Alaskan. I left Alaska to go to university in 2005 and stayed for medical school. I’m currently in my seventh year. At my university there are usually about 5 or 6 kids from Alaska each year and inevitably, most are gay. In my year, only one of the kids from Alaska was not gay (and he was an awesome dude!)
It seems like a lot of young gay Alaskans get out of Alaska as soon as they can — that’s old news. What I’m interested in are those Alaskans who are gay who left, but went back.
Why did they choose to return? How have their experiences been? What is it like to be an out professional in Alaska? Rural v. urban? What kind of community awaits them? Did they return with a partner?
I’d love to read more in depth about this issue!
OK, readers — what do you think? Did you return after graduating from an out of state school? Tell us your reasons for returning, and what it’s like for you as an LGBT professional in Alaska. Leave a comment below, or email us directly at Bent Alaska @ gmail .com (without the spaces), and we will include your response in the follow up post. Help this university student and others decide where to start a career after graduation.
And if you have a topic you’d like to see on Bent Alaska, please tell us about it!
Photo: A crowd of college students at the 2007 Pittsburgh University Commencement, by Kit of Pittsburgh. Via Wikimedia Commons; used in accordance with Creative Commons licensing.
Mailbag: the Good, the Bad and the Clueless
As Alaska’s only LGBT news and events blog, Bent gets mail with a variety of questions, suggestions and tips. In addition to events and news from locals, this week included a donation, a hater, a rude reporter and a clueless outsider.
The Good
A wonderful reader made a donation to Bent Alaska through the donation button on the blog. THANK YOU. As a volunteer blogger, I write because it’s important and useful and fun. I also appreciate contributions, for the financial support and for the compliment that you consider Bent worthy of support.
If you like Bent, please consider making a contribution through the Donate button on the top right side of the blog. Thanks!
The Bad
As an LGBT blog in the moderate main city of a conservative state, Bent also receives mail full of anger, fear and hate. I don’t take it personally — those messages say more about the person who spent several minutes of their life attacking someone they have never met just because that person is different. For example, today’s hater said that I’m going to Hell for being gay, a common theme:
“Homosexuality is a sin against God. God loves you so much. He will allow you to live a lie if you so choose; not because He hates you, because He is HOLY, set apart from sin. Your sin will result in death. You will spend eternity in hell — forever seperated from God. You must repent of your sin, and except Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. If you are a homosexual, repent. Your eternity draws near.”
This comment was on a post about Jerry Prevo calling gay Christians “deadly” and attacking the popular Christian musician Ray Boltz, who is gay and recently performed in Anchorage. Since Prevo is not HOLY and he spreads lies about us all the time, I guess this hater thinks Prevo’s lies will result in his death.
The Good and Bad
Bent gets media requests from local reporters as well as from LGBT news agencies all over the country. The national focus is often “What is it like to be gay in Sarah Palin’s home state?” and “I’d like to interview someone gay in Wasilla.”
The local reporters ask about specific topics, and they’re reporting LGBT stories more often since the equal rights ordinance. The LGBT community has developed good connections with the local reporters.
Last week, I had an unpleasant exchange with a straight young reporter I’d never heard of. He kept asking for my phone number, over and over, but offered no reason to work with him – no story, no introduction, no knowledge of LGBTQ issues — and was rude when I declined.
This reminds me to be grateful for all the polite media professionals — print, online, TV & radio – who report our community’s news with accuracy and respect. Thank you.
The Clueless
Bent Alaska has many readers who subscribe to the blog through RSS and email. They get each post when it’s published, with all the photos and links, including the title linked to the post’s permanent page and the words “You are subscribed to Bent Alaska” with the blog name linked to the home page. [The subscribe tabs are on the top right side of the blog.]
One subscriber from the Lower 48 clicked the Reply link and asked, “Do you have a website?”
We all have brain-dead moments, and I try to be polite no matter how absurd the question. I explained that yes, this post came from my website.
His reply: “What is the address of your website?”
Clueless.
