Articles tagged with: Love Won Out [ex-gay conference]
Ex-gay survivor Jason Ingram returns to Alaska to tell his story (includes interview)
Jason Ingram was a young adult Christian in Anchorage when he sought help in dealing with his same-sex attractions through Christian recovery groups and “ex-gay” ministries. He returns to Anchorage to tell his story on Friday, June 1 at Out North. Includes interview. An Alaska Pride Fest 2012 event.
Where is the love in trying to make gays go straight?
COMPASS: Other points of view
Opinion | adn.com
By TIFFANY McCLAIN
Published: September 22nd, 2008 10:41 PM
Last Modified: September 22nd, 2008 10:41 PM
One of my earliest memories is being told by the principal of my Christian school that, along with Prince fans and devotees of the rock band Kiss, homosexuals were going to hell.
I was only 6 years old and had never heard of a homosexual, but my principal was happy to spell it out for his elementary school audience: “Homosexuals are men who have sex with men.” By the end of the school day, I was in tears, convinced that my mother’s love for Prince had doomed us both for eternity.
At the time, homosexuality had no relevance to my life, and because after this incident my mother promptly enrolled me in public school, I was spared any additional attempts to prevent me from growing up to be gay. But what about the children whose parents weren’t aware of what their kids were being taught? Or whose parents’ beliefs might have been more in line with that of the principal’s? What about the slightly older child, already aware of his or her attraction to people of the same sex, forced to come of age weighed down by this message of condemnation?
For years, these children remained vulnerable to the harmful teachings of adults who used their authority and their religious standing to promote an anti-gay agenda under the guise of Christian righteousness. It is disheartening to know that some groups continue to promote a philosophy that endangers peoples’ mental health and validates social intolerance.
Over time, the homophobic discourse of Christian fundamentalism has grown more benevolent in tone. Instead of threatening the gates of hell, for example, Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out ministry claims to help people “overcome” their same- sex attractions with “compassion and grace.” They claim to be able to “transform” people’s lives with holistic therapies and counseling.
But just because the tone has changed doesn’t mean that the consequences have disappeared. In a 1998 position statement the American Psychiatric Association cited the numerous potential risks of the “therapies” promoted by these ministries of so-called “transformation,” including depression, anxiety and self-destructive behavior. The American Psychological Association, National Association of Social Workers, and the American Academy of Pediatrics have also expressed their concern about the harmful consequences of these ministries on the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning people and their families.
For all their talk of love, the Love Won Out ministry blindly ignores the love and affection that exists between gay and lesbian couples. We are portrayed as emotionally stunted in/piduals with no interest in each other beyond the physical, thereby diminishing public respect for and recognition of our relationships and families.
If you look beneath the “self-help”-styled rhetoric, at the core of their philosophy is the belief that if you’re gay or lesbian, there is something fundamentally wrong with you that needs to be changed. Not only is this belief medically incorrect — psychiatrists dismissed it almost 40 years ago — it also implicitly validates social prejudices that lead to acts of discrimination, harassment and violence. These acts cause far more mental harm to gays and lesbians — and do more harm to our democracy — than allowing law-abiding citizens to live their lives equally, honestly, and without fear — regardless of their sexual orientation.
I work for the American Civil Liberties Union of Alaska, an organization that protects the right of every citizen to believe in and promote the religion of their choice. Focus on the Family has every right to bring its Love Won Out conference all the way to Anchorage and share its mission with whoever is willing to listen. But our Constitution also grants me the right to urge you — for the sake of your loved ones’ mental well-being and happiness, for the sake of promoting a more democratic and compassionate community, and in the name of love — not to believe a word they say.
Tiffany McClain is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Public Policy Coordinator for ACLU of Alaska in Anchorage.
Resources on the “ex-gay” movement
The gay community held an all-day vigil to counter the “ex-gay” conference in Anchorage last weekend, plus a seminar with gay-affirming clergy and mental health professionals, and presentations by Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out.
Parents, friends and family members who have questions about “reparative therapy” and the ex-gay movement are invited to join PFLAG‘s support meeting, Thursday Sept. 18 at 7 p.m.
Learn about “ex-gays” and the “ex-gay” movement from those who know it best:
- Beyond Ex-Gay – an online community for those who have survived ex-gay experiences
- Ex-Gay Watch – dedicated to monitoring the ex-gay movement
- Truth Wins Out – fighting right wing lies and the “ex-gay” fraud
These civil rights groups have information on the ex-gay movement and tools to help local communities deal with the ex-gay events in their towns (links go to ex-gay pages):
- PFLAG – Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays
- GLAAD – Gay & Lesbian Alliance against Defamation
- Soulforce – Freedom for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people from religious & political oppression through the practice of relentless nonviolent resistance
- Southern Poverty Law Center – Advocates for Justice and Equality
These LGBT blogs have vast archives on the ex-gays and Focus on the Family:
- Good As You – gay and lesbian activism with a sense of humor
- Box Turtle Bulletin – news, analysis and fact-checking of anti-gay rhetoric
- Pam’s House Blend – … always steamin’
Anchorage Press covers the “ex-gay” conference
The cover story for this week’s Anchorage Press shows the truth behind the ex-gay conference that recently came to town, and includes the gay-affirming events also held that weekend. From Straight Talk? —
And now the culture wars are raging in Anchorage, too, with Love Won Out descending on the town and the opposition it sparked evident both outside on the sidewalk and in a gay-friendly church that last week hosted speakers who were outraged by this promotion of ex-gay ministries.
and:
“[The ex-gay movement] is just a smokescreen for political action, to elect right-wing politicians and to pass anti-gay laws. Nothing more, nothing less,” says Besen [from Truth Wins Out].
Read the full story and thank the Anchorage Press for this great article.
Not your father’s anti-gay crusade
by Karen
The “ex-gay” conference came to Alaska last Saturday, and the LGBT community held gay-positive events to counter the ‘pray away the gay’ message. MCC hosted “God Loves You Just As You Are” with five clergy members and a presentation by Truth Wins Out. On Saturday, PFLAG Anchorage and many supportive individuals held an all-day vigil outside the conference.
Meanwhile, Karen attended the ex-gay conference. This story was written by Karen for Bent Alaska:
I attended the Love Won Out conference in Anchorage last weekend, sponsored by Focus On the Family (FOTF), and it was interesting on many levels. I went with two straight women friends from my church in Palmer.
Most of the attendees were people like the three of us. Of the 250-300 attendees and volunteer hosts/ushers, the great majority were middle-class white folks in our 30’s, 40’s and older. I saw people who looked just like my fellow church-goers and neighbors. There were also a few goatee’d guys with nose rings from the Christian youth groups.
It was not the atmosphere of hate that I had been steeling myself to endure.
Admittedly, I’ve been out of the loop since the years I worked at gay newspapers in Minneapolis, but the message of conservative Christians has come a long way from the days of sign-wavers proclaiming God Hates Fags. There was a gentleness and kindness in what the speakers shared that was unexpected. The old commercial slogan, “This is not your father’s Oldsmobile,” kept going through my mind. They went to great lengths to make the environment current and pleasant, compared to anti-gay teachings or workshops even ten years ago which were more about guilt and shame.
In the first few sessions, I didn’t find much that I actually disagreed with. Yes, many lesbian women suffer abuse in their family backgrounds. Yes, many gay men are creative and sensitive. No breaking news there, and they noted that stereotyping didn’t serve anyone. Speaker Jeff Johnston, a self-identified ex-gay who is now married with children, quipped that no one was there to say boys shouldn’t be creative or sensitive. “No one says, ‘why can’t you be more a jerk like your father?'” said Johnston.
They’ve learned to come across as more reasonable and caring. That could well be by design. Perhaps the gay community has prompted these changes over the years, pointing out the contradictions of un-Christ-like behavior on the part of groups like this one. Since the foaming-at-the-mouth venom and harsh Fire and Brimstone sermons were probably not persuasive with everyday folk who have everyday questions about their gay family members or friends, they do seem to have moderated their messages.
FOTF founder James Dobson’s introduction in the program booklet does promote “freedom from homosexuality” and the conference schedule online seems oriented towards political action. But there was nary a call to arms in the sessions I attended (I had to leave in the afternoon for work) and no one mentioned what used to be a standard, assumed parallel between gayness and pedophilia.
To their credit, I found FOTF’s theological break-out sessions more complete and thought-out than arguments I’ve heard at both LGBT-inclusive churches and my current non-affirming church.
Another way this was “not your Father’s anti-gay crusade” was the essential divide between how different Christian groups see Father God. The speakers acknowledged that the Presbyterians, Episcopalians, and one branch of the Lutheran church have become accepting and affirming of LGBT folk. But that is not FOTF’s understanding of what God asks of us on our walk towards holiness. The position taken by FOTF hasn’t changed: that engaging in homosexual relationships is outside of God’s will for humankind.
It seems evident that the LGBT community members outside the conference hold a different view of the “Father” and what we’re called to as His people. One of the friends attending with me said she saw it as discussions happening on two different planes, with no intersecting points on the crucial questions, between the protesters and folks with the FOTF point of view.
A moment of hope came for me during a session presented by Nancy Heche, mother of actress Anne Heche. She asked audience members to raise their hands if they were gay or knew a gay family member or friend. Almost every hand went up. The next question she posed was, “How many here want to see the voice of their church change in regard to homosexuality?”
Given Alaska’s very conservative base of churches, I interpreted that to mean striving for a kinder, more compassionate dialogue. Nearly a dozen or so hands went up. Perhaps this will further the conversation locally and more broadly, as Christians of all stripes seek to live out their Christianity.
Our kids don’t need changing, part 2: Local news coverage
Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight allies gathered in Anchorage on Saturday to protest the ex-gay conference. Their message of LGBT equality was echoed by the many cars who honked in support. See the photos and story: Our Kids Don’t Need Changing (part 1).
The local television news picked up the story:
Our kids don’t need changing: Anchorage gays and allies send message of LGBT acceptance outside ex-gay conference
Anchorage, Alaska – A dozen people gather at dawn in front of Abbott Loop Church on Saturday, the headlights of passing cars illuminating the rainbow flags and signs: “God Loves My Gay Son And So Do I!”, “First, Do No Harm”, “Be Yourself – We Love You!”
Behind the church, people struggling with homosexual feelings, or the homosexuality of a friend or family member, park in the back lot and enter the side door of the grey building. The front doors are locked.
The church is hosting the Love Won Out conference, with speakers preaching that homosexuality is a sin and a choice, and that gays must change or suppress their same-sex attractions.
The conference is sponsored by the Colorado-based right wing organization Focus on the Family, a group that also sponsors anti-gay legislation.
Along the street, PFLAG Anchorage and their supporters spread a message of love and acceptance to all who drive by the church.
“Our gay kids are not sick, they’re not evil, and they don’t need changing,” said Jane Schlittler, chair of PFLAG Anchorage. “We’re here so that truth wins out.”
Kirt and Roger stand together near the church parking lot. They were married in Canada, the first gay couple from Alaska to be legally wed.
“I’m here for people like Stuart Matis,” said Roger, “a young gay man in California who thought it better to put a bullet in his head rather than live with the shame that these people in the church create.”
“I grew up in a very religious background,” said Kirt. “I know about these types of programs that profess that you can change and that it’s some kind of choice to be gay. It absolutely isn’t. I’m proud to be a gay man, and proud to be married to my husband, and I’ll be proud to die that way.”
The Second Wave
As the PFLAGers move on to other commitments, a new group gathers at the intersection of Lake Otis and Abbott Road. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered young adults and their friends brought poster board, colored markers, musical instruments, food and water for an afternoon outside the ex-gay conference.
“I called all my friends to come here and protest,” said Mike, who contributed several large pizzas and a conga drum. “We’re going to tell them you can’t pray the gay away.”
Slade makes a sign saying “Honk If You (Heart) Gay People” and waves to the many honking drivers. “I’m here to protest the anti-gay ‘pray away the gay’ thing because you can’t change who you are,” he said. “You have to accept that and move on.”
Sean and Ted arrive with Ted’s mother. “We found out about Focus on the Family through watching the documentary For The Bible Tells Me So,” said Sean, a social work student at UAA. “‘Reparative therapies’ and ‘conversion therapies’ are not only ineffective but harmful. These programs are misleading the public, misleading people who are struggling with their sexual orientation, causing emotional harm and in some cases it’s devastating. I can’t sit idly by and allow the general public to accept this ignorance.”
“What they are teaching in that church is not about acceptance, it’s not about love,” said Mary, “it’s about self-loathing and fear.” Her signs say, “True Love is Unconditional” and “God Loves You Just As You Are.”
“Their hatred of homosexuals and pushing an anti-gay agenda is just not accepted here,” said Mike. “They can go back where they came from.”
Jason: An ex-gay survivor from Alaska tells his story
The ex-gay conference Love Won Out came to Alaska to promote “reparative” therapy. Jason Ingram describes their methods in his personal story.
“Conversion therapy” is harmful and ineffective, say local clergy and mental health professionals
Religious Leaders and Mental Health Professionals Affirm Support for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People
- WHEN: Thursday, September 11, 2008 – 7:15 p.m.
- WHERE: Metropolitan Community Church of Anchorage, 7208 Duben Avenue, Anchorage
- WHO: Sara Gavit, St. Mary’s Episcopal Church; Rev. John Carey, Pastor of Immanuel Presbyterian Church; Rev. Beatrice Hitchcock, Unitarian Universalist Fellowship; Rev. Susan Halvor, Lutheran; Rev. Matthew Moak; Edie Bailey, Worship Coordinator for Metropolitan Community Church; Summer LeFebvre, Social Action Chair, National Association of Social Workers Alaska Chapter; Kaya Kade, President of the Alaska Counseling Association; Larry Michael, Psychologist; and Wayne Besen, Truth Wins Out.
ANCHORAGE – On Thursday, September 11, an interfaith group of leaders from Anchorage’s religious community will participate in “God Loves You Just as You Are” a forum sponsored by the Metropolitan Community Church of Anchorage to inform the parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth and LGBT adults about the many welcoming and affirming religious denominations that celebrate the diversity of God’s creation.
The religious leaders along with mental health professionals will also discuss the harmful effects of so-called “therapies” that claim to “treat” same-sex attraction. All serious mental health organizations such as the American Psychological Association have long discredited the notion that homosexuality is a mental disorder or a problem that needs to corrected.
Some ultra-conservative, radical religious groups like Focus on the Family and Exodus International continue to promote the idea that same-sex attraction is something from which people need to be “freed,” or that can or should be “overcome.”
“Medical and psychological research shows that their whole agenda rests on false assumptions: that gay and lesbian persons choose their sexual orientation; that only heterosexuality is God’s plan for humankind; and that a person can be ‘converted’ to being heterosexual,” says Pastor John Carey of Immanuel Presbyterian Church. “This mindset leads to a damaging political perspective which results in destructive and sometimes deadly scapegoating.”
While “conversion therapy” groups purport to take a compassionate approach to dealing with same-sex attraction, most mental health professionals agree that their programs are largely ineffective and potentially harmful.
According to Randy Magen, a professor of Social Work at the University of Alaska Anchorage, there are at least seven studies which suggest reparative therapy is harmful. “One central tenet of all helping professions is, ‘do no harm.’ Advocates of reparative therapy are in danger of violating that ethical mandate,” Magen says.
On September 18, the Anchorage chapter of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) will hold a support meeting for parents and family members of gays and lesbians at Immanuel Presbyterian Church.
“We do not believe that ‘reparative or conversion’ therapy should be used to ‘cure’ gay and lesbian children of homosexuality,” says Jane Schlittler, current president of PFLAG-Anchorage. “There is nothing wrong with our children. They are not sick or evil. They are just fine the way God made them.”
###
To arrange interviews in advance of the event, contact ACLU of Alaska.
PFLAG to visit “Love Won Out” in Anchorage
Update: See our vigil outside the conference, Our Kids Don’t Need Changing!
Update from PFLAG Anchorage:
We will meet on Saturday Sept 13 at 7 a.m. (the conference starts at 8) at the Abbott Loop Church (2626 Abbott Road, at the corner of Lake Otis and Abbott) to hand out flyers to the conference participants. Bring rain gear and a LGBT-positive sign (for example, “I love my gay son” or whatever is true for you.)
On Saturday morning, PFLAG families, supporters and allies will come together in Anchorage, Alaska as Love Won Out brings its so-called “ex-gay” conference to our 49th state. PFLAGers will gather outside the conference to offer support for youth attending and information for parents and families.
“Families never win at Love Won Out,” said Jane Schlittler, president of PFLAG’s Anchorage, Alaska chapter>. “The conference’s organizers maliciously target often well-meaning parents who are dealing with a difficult issue in their lives, and in the process put their kids’ well-being at risk. Make no mistake: There is far more ‘preying’ than ‘praying’ taking place at these meetings, and far more harming than healing in the doctrine of Love Won Out.”
Programs such as Love Won Out, which is a project of the far-right American Family Association, use out-moded medical theories and radical religious beliefs to justify trying to alter gay and lesbian people’s natural sexual orientation.
“Programs like Love Won Out are dangerous for kids and divisive for families,” said PFLAG National executive director Jody M. Huckaby. “Every bit of evidence available suggests that children who grow up in homes that accept them – and not try to change them – are far happier and healthier than those subjected to these anti-family tactics. It is nothing short of extremist to imply that families should do anything other than love their children as they are, and nothing short of outrageous to infer that LGBT kids aren’t fine just the way they are.”
Saturday’s event in Anchorage has sparked widespread attention and protest following reports that Wasilla Bible Church, where Republican Vice Presidential nominee Governor Sarah Palin is a member, has endorsed the Love Won Out conference. In a statement, PFLAG noted that, “It is unfair, at this point, to assume that Governor Palin endorses so-called ‘ex-gay’ therapy like that espoused by Love Won Out,” but that “Saturday’s event in Anchorage provides an important opportunity for the first GOP mom on the party’s presidential ticket to make clear that she, as a mother and a public servant, will not condone, either explicitly or implicitly, such attempts at dividing our families and hurting our kids.”
“Palin, and lawmakers of both parties, should seize that opportunity,” PFLAG said, “and stand up as boldly and outspokenly for all of our kids as much as they do for their own.”
To be part of Saturday morning’s gathering, email Jane Schlittler.
Reposted from the National PFLAG Blog
