Articles tagged with: LGBT youth
Gay pride flags thrown in mud outside youth dance
136 queer and allied youth from Anchorage and the Mat-Su Valley attended the Glee-themed Pride Prom last weekend at Out North – and at least one vandal, who took down four of the five rainbow flags decorating the outside of the building. A flag was hung upside down, others were thrown on the ground in the mud.
Gleek out at Anchorage Pride Prom
Pride Prom 2011 will be fabulous, with live performances in the Glee theme, a prize for best costume, and plenty of music to keep you dancing ’til midnight!
The annual youth dance is open to teens who support the LGBTQ community. It is drug-free and alcohol-free, and ID’s will be checked.
The costume contest will be judged by an expert panel for best in-character Glee costume, and the audience will get to decide the final contest winner.
Dress to impress (it’s officially semi-formal, prom dresses and suits are fine but not required) or dress as your favorite Glee character. Either way, be ready to dance.
Pride Prom 2011 will be held at Out North, a community theater and art space located kitty corner from Costco on Debarr and Bragaw. Parking is available on Primrose Street. (Do NOT park at the church next to Out North.) The evening is hosted by Identity Inc, with thanks to Out North, ICOAA, PFLAG, AMP, and ADK’s Deejays.
Come meet new teens and have a great time with your friends!
Pride Prom 2011
Saturday, April 23
8pm – midnight
Ages: 14-19
Cost: $10
Where: Out North Theater
3800 Debarr Rd, Anchorage
It Gets Better, the book: A “message in a bottle” to LGBT youth
Not all kids have access to YouTube. And so the It Gets Better Project’s message of hope for LGBT youth is now in a book: time, now, to get it into every library.
Obama: It Gets Better. Dan Savage: Thanks, now Make It Better
Over 10 million people viewed the It Gets Better project started by columnist Dan Savage, millions participated in Spirit Day events wearing purple to raise awareness of anti-gay bullying, and thousands attended vigils for the gay teens who killed themselves recently. Yet the suicides continue, with another gay teen taking his life this week.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton uploaded an It Gets Better message on Tuesday, and President Obama followed with his message on Thursday. They are strong messages against prejudice and in support of LGBT youth.
Clinton’s video was appreciated as the highest level government official to join the project at the time, while Obama’s message sparked anger in the LGBT community because the good words are contradicted by his lack of action on behalf of gay rights.
Watch President Obama’s It Gets Better video:
The It Gets Better project is about kids, anti-gay bullying and suicide prevention. This is the first time a sitting president has told gay youth that there is nothing wrong with them. He is a good speaker and his message can reach many people, including those who might not have heard this kind of message before and those who have been told otherwise. A speech like this from the president has the ability to save lives, and that’s what the It Gets Better project is all about.
Now it’s time to follow those words with deeds that actually make it better for LGBT youth and adults.
On Friday, Dan Savage responded to President Obama’s video, voicing the mixed feelings expressed by the LGBT community:
Thanks to Dan Savage and his husband for creating a project that brings national attention to the problem of anti-LGBT discrimination and the harm it causes our youth and our society.
Solidarity in Spirit and Action
A guest post about Spirit Day by Lauren, president of the Gay-Straight Alliance at the University of Alaska, Fairbanks
Today we wore purple to celebrate and rejoice in unity for each other within the LGBT community, coming together in support of one another. The simple act of incorporating the color in our wardrobe today was a powerful action that showed our friends, neighbors, family and strangers that there are people who care about you, about me, about everyone. We asked our friends and family to wear a color to show their love and they did, and to everyone who wore purple today, to show your support, we thank you.
I don’t know if you heard, but just hours before Spirit Day commenced, another young man couldn’t bear his pain and took his own life on campus at Oakland University in Michigan. Though the police reported that bullying was not an evident factor in 19-year-old Corey Jackson’s death, we all know that there are many kinds of pain that drive us to the edge and, oftentimes, over it. I wept when I read the article; my heart hurt as I read and I just couldn’t believe that just before our day of pulling together as an allied community, that one man was unable to hold on just one more day. I think the response of Melissa Pope, the director of the university’s Gender and Sexuality Center, sums up a lot of what people are feeling today and recently in response to the rash of suicides that have ravaged our nation and communities the past two months:
We must look beyond the term “bullying” to the overall treatment of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community to begin to grasp the long-standing epidemic of suicide among our LGBT youth.
While the national press has picked up this issue over the last two months, we have been losing high numbers of LGBT youth to suicide for decades. In recent years, we’ve labeled the cause as bullying. But the root cause goes deeper – it goes to the very core of our society that discriminates against the LGBT community on all levels, including the denial of basic human rights that are supposed to belong to every person.
As I sit with the students who regularly visit the Oakland University Gender and Sexuality Center, including the newer members of our community, drawn to the Center for affirmation and support, I am confident that these individuals know they are loved and accepted for who they are. My greater concern is the hundreds of students, faculty and staff who do not come to the Center. Those who are afraid to come out – perhaps even to themselves – for fear of the persecution they will suffer. My greatest hope is that those who feel isolated reach out to resources like the GSC to discover they are not alone. We are here to listen and offer support.
I, too, hope that people out there can find somewhere they feel safe enough to share their burdens. As I write this, I’m listening to SuperChick’s “We Live” on repeat because of these words that make up the chorus: “We live, we love, we forgive and never give up / Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above / And today we remember to live and to love”. That entire song is about learning to live when you know life is hell, when there isn’t much you can do. Each day, we just need to remember to live and love. To not give up, to keep moving forward, because it gets better. It really does, I promise. I wouldn’t be here, writing this to you all, if it didn’t.
There are safe spaces on campus if you feel overwhelmed by anything in your life, related to sexuality or not, and it doesn’t matter if you are an LGBT student or not. Here at UAF, you can go to any of our GSA advisors for advice (hence the title ‘advisor’) or anything that you need. You can go to the Student Health and Counseling Center. Talk to a friend, an RA, your Dorm Director, peer mentor, friendly person on your floor. Call your parents, if you feel comfortable, or call someone you can trust. The GSA meets every Wednesday at 4:30pm at the Library, room 502. Anyone and everyone is welcome to come to share their stories–because all stories deserve to be listened to. Even the people in the Office of Multicultural Affairs and Diversity office (OMAD) are cool enough to listen with respect if you come to them. You can apply these suggestions on different campuses as well–get in touch with your diversity/LGBT clubs, your Women’s Center, Men’s Center, health center, and faculty that help advise these groups and services.
Outside of campus, there are many places you can go if you are being harassed or bullied in any way. If it’s bad enough, let the police know (do this if you are on campus as well). Treat harassment, even if it’s ‘not important’ or ‘not violent’ in the form of verbal abuse, as a potential attack and tell people. Tell anyone who will listen. Sympathetic ears really work wonders for hurting hearts, and they generally come with shoulders you can cry on. Your friends are friends for a reason: they know you, support you, and love you. If they don’t do these things, they’re not good friends (and you should think about making new ones). Let them help you out of a bad situation. Is it a loved one who is targeting you? Find someone to help mediate some sort of conflict resolution meeting AFTER extracting yourself from the situation. If your faith is kosher with the way you love (like many are growing to be nowadays), find someone who can guide you on that front as well.
No one deserves to be hurt for who they love. The way I see harassment is that it is like a cancer–you can often not tell that it’s there. It might be subtle as a butterfly’s kiss or like a freight train barreling down the tracks, but it is there. Early treatment of the situation will generally help resolve the issues, but sometimes you need other outside help. Build your support network up and get help dealing with things if you are confronted with harassment, abuse, and/or bullying. Violence, verbal abuse, bigotry, pick the poison: none of it is all right or acceptable, and if you find yourself in a situation where you are dealing with these issues, get help. Now.
In the end, wearing purple alone does not help us get over the fact that bigotry leads to abuse in its myriad of forms. What it does is identify those who are capable of supporting us while we deal with said abuse. No one should have to live or stay in a place or situation that does not support them–no one. Domestic or not, violence in any form is not something that should be a part of our social community. Whether you are gay or not, if you are confronted with harassment, you are able to take charge of the situation. You are not a victim, you are someone who has the power to change what is going on to you. People can only hurt you if you let them, right? Don’t ever let them. Get help. A lesson I had to learn the hard way is that asking for assistance is not a sign of weakness, but rather a form of power.
Be powerful, my friends.
UA faculty & staff: It Gets Better!
Alaska is joining the It Gets Better project! University of Alaska Fairbanks faculty and staff are uploading It Gets Better videos to Kate Wattum’s new YouTube channel and inviting faculty and staff from across the UA system to participate in the LGBT suicide prevention project.
There are 5 videos so far, and three more on the way. Project organizer Kate talks about struggling to come out in her 20’s as a student at UAF, and introduces the UA: It Gets Better project:
Visit the UA: It Gets Better channel and watch the other videos:
- Jeanne Laurencelle talks about the (sometimes) long process of self-acceptance.
- Pete Pinney, UAF staff and long time member of PFLAG, talks about leaving his home town to discover a new life in Alaska.
- Joy Morrison describes a climate of acceptance at the University of Alaska Fairbanks.
- Jerry Farnam talks about being bullied in high school and learning to come to terms with his sexuality.
Do you want to participate? Contact Kate.
Dan Savage: "It Gets Better"
Savage Love columnist Dan Savage, who spoke to sold out crowds at UAA two years in a row, has a new video project to give hope to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer youth who are harassed for being different and remind them that there is life after high school – and it can be great!
It started when Savage wrote a column about a gay teenager in Indiana who killed himself:
Billy Lucas was just 15 when he hanged himself in a barn on his grandmother’s property. He reportedly endured intense bullying at the hands of his classmates—classmates who called him a fag and told him to kill himself. His mother found his body.
Nine out of 10 gay teenagers experience bullying and harassment at school, and gay teens are four times likelier to attempt suicide. Many LGBT kids who do kill themselves live in rural areas, exurbs, and suburban areas, places with no gay organizations or services for queer kids.
“My heart breaks for the pain and torment you went through, Billy Lucas,” a reader wrote after I posted about Billy Lucas to my blog. “I wish I could have told you that things get better.”
I had the same reaction: I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.
But gay adults aren’t allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don’t bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay—or from ever coming out—by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.
Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don’t have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.
So here’s what you can do: Make a video. Tell them it gets better.
I’ve launched a channel on YouTube—www .youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject—to host these videos. My normally camera-shy husband and I already posted one. We both went to Christian schools and we were both bullied—he had it a lot worse than I did—and we are living proof that it gets better. We don’t dwell too much on the past. Instead, we talk mostly about all the meaningful things in our lives now—our families, our friends (gay and straight), the places we’ve gone and things we’ve experienced—that we would’ve missed out on if we’d killed ourselves then.
[snip]
We can’t help Billy, but there are lots of other Billys out there—other despairing LGBT kids who are being bullied and harassed, kids who don’t think they have a future—and we can help them.
They need to know that it gets better. Submit a video. Give them hope.
Dan Savage and his husband Terry talk about being bullied in high school for being gay and how their lives got so much better as adults:
Do you have a good story to tell about how life got better for you as an adult? They want to hear your story of How It Got Better!
It would be great to get some more videos that include more than one person. Gay couples, groups of friends, straight people and their gay friends. And we have lots of videos from folks who are focusing on what they suffered—which absolutely should be touched on. But it would be great to see some more videos that give young gay kids a picture of the lives they could make for themselves if they just hang in there… So if you decide to make a video, don’t just share your pain. Share your joy too.
There are dozens of videos listed as favorites on the It Gets Better YouTube site, and now cities are joining the project.
San Francisco was the first city to respond with an “It Gets Better” video. Check it out:
If you’re in Alaska and you make an “It Gets Better” video, please send the link to Bent Alaska so I can post it here as well.
There’s a big beautiful world out there waiting for you. It gets better. Trust me.
Court upholds right to attend Prom with a same sex date
Students have a First Amendment right to bring a same-sex date and wear gender non-conforming clothes to the prom, a federal court ruled today. School officials violated Constance McMillen’s rights when they canceled the prom rather than let her attend with her girlfriend and wear a tux.
“All I ever wanted was for my school to treat me and my girlfriend like any other couple that wants to go to prom,” said McMillen, an 18-year-old senior at Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton, Mississippi. “Now we can all get back to things like picking out our prom night outfits and thinking about corsages.”
School officials told McMillen that she could not arrive at the prom with her girlfriend, who is also a student at the school, and that they might be thrown out if any other students complained about their presence. The school board canceled the prom when the ACLU and the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition demanded that the district reverse its decision.
In the 12-page ruling, the court wrote, “The record shows Constance has been openly gay since eighth grade and she intended to communicate a message by wearing a tuxedo and to express her identity through attending prom with a same-sex date. The Court finds this expression and communication of her viewpoint is the type of speech that falls squarely within the purview of the First Amendment. The Court is also of the opinion that the motive behind the School Board’s cancellation of the prom, or withdrawal of their sponsorship, was Constance’s requests and the ACLU’s demand letter sent on her behalf.” Further, the court says that since the school represented the private prom being organized by parents at a furniture store as open to all students, then the court expects that event will indeed invite McMillen and her girlfriend.
McMillen said that she plans to attend the “private” prom, but has also long planned to attend the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition’s Second Chance Prom, to be held Saturday, May 8 in Tupelo. That event, sponsored by Green Day, Tonic.com, Iron Chef Cat Cora, and Lance Bass, among others, will be open to all LGBT students in the state, as well as straight students who are LGBT-supportive. The MSSC and the ACLU deal every year with complaints from LGBT students all over Mississippi who face resistance from their schools about bringing same-sex dates to proms or who don’t feel safe going to their own school proms.
“Today’s ruling isn’t just a win for Constance and her girlfriend – it’s a win for all the students at her school, and for all lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students who just want to be able to be themselves at school without being treated unfairly,” said Kristy Bennett, Legal Director of the ACLU of Mississippi. “Public schools can’t just stomp on students’ free expression rights just because they don’t want to deal with these students, and if schools do try to do that they’ll be dealing with us.”
In Alaska, some LGBT students bring same sex dates to their school prom, if they feel comfortable doing that. Many don’t attend prom or bring an opposite sex friend to fit in. But they have the right to bring a same sex date, if they want to.
Alaska also has an alternate prom for LGBT students and their high school allies. The annual Pride Prom is the closing event for Day of Silence/Night of Noise, organized in Anchorage by the Gay-Straight Alliance student clubs.
