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Your words: Comments on responding to the “ex-gays”

Thursday, 14 August 2008 – 2:43 PM | Comments Off

I got mail! Here is a sample of comments from the Anchorage GLBT community on how we should respond when the “ex-gay” circus comes to town:

Sigh. Don’t give them the time of day. We survived Phelps in town, this too will soon be forgotten. On second thought, we should protest it. So some gays who feel bad about themselves don’t get pulled into another cult… ~ Michael

I’m on the ‘educational forum with media involvement’ front. I watched the video on Celtic Diva’s site on the protestors in Orlando and that has made me think more about what a peaceful protest might bring – the opportunity for the young people and their parents who are in turmoil to see that other folks out there are just like them and they are happy, successful individuals. I was also thinking that some sort of panel discussion might be beneficial. Perhaps 4 or 5 GLBT or GLBT-friendly folks who are willing to talk about being gay or having a child who is gay. Not recruiting, but giving the facts. I don’t really know what to do, I just know that this will harm so many kids and adults, and I want to help prevent that. ~ Lori

I strongly feel that the showing of the films and the education of the media are both great ideas, however, only those who are already supportive of the LGBT community will participate. I do not feel that these methods will be most effective singularly. I feel strongly that a protest is in order to raise attention followed by a forum to educate the public. The two ideas combined together would be much more productive than one in and of itself. Thank you for your time and your continued effort to unite our community. ~ Jessica

I think it’s best not to give the Ex-Gay Movement any free press unless they get so much publicity that it becomes necessary for people within the LGBT movement to respond. So far, I haven’t seen any kind of press coverage besides announcements. And as long as it’s this quiet, I’d rather people not know they’re in town. Any big action on our part will certainly give them more attention than they deserve. ~ (name withheld)

What about some couples actually going to the conference and/or church service and holding hands, putting our arms around each other, kissing. You know, like a happy gay couple. We wouldn’t even have to say a thing. It wouldn’t even have to be actual couples–just people who could act like couples. Just an idea. I have always wanted to go to Prevo’s church with my boyfriend and kiss during the sermon! ~ Peter

I strongly recommend that we not protest outside the Abbot Loop church. I appreciated what was done several years ago when another anti-gay group chose to protest MCC. Several LGBT-welcoming church groups went from church to church to show their solidarity for MCC. I don’t believe we should protest Abbot Loop because it is a house of worship… We should be the better, stronger folk and refrain from stooping to the level of those who seek to harm our community. Organize another multi-denominational protest among the gay and lesbian friendly churches, and invite the media to follow as members travel from church service to church service in support of LGBT people, our friends, and relatives. This will steal the thunder from those who twist the words of Christ to suit their own fear-driven, money-focused, war-happy agenda. ~ Jeanette

"Balancing" Prejudice – The Fine Art of Challenging Bigotry

Wednesday, 13 August 2008 – 3:52 PM | Comments Off

If Anchorage hosted a Flat Earth Conference, would local reporters call the US Geological Society for a quote from the “opposing side” and show both “opinions” as equally valid?

Of course not. The Flat Earthers are hopelessly out of touch with modern reality. No amount of balanced coverage will convince them that the earth is round, and the vast majority of Anchorage residents don’t need convincing.

But when Love Won Out comes to town in September, with their ridiculous “ex-gay” claims and unsuccessful methods for suppressing same-sex attraction, will the mainstream media look to the gay community for “balance?”

Probably. Will they present the prejudice and the acceptance as equally valid “opinions?” Yes, unfortunately.

A Flat Earth Conference would be absurd and harmless. Love Won Out is also absurd, but their programs cause serious harm to young adults and their families.

What if we don’t respond? Would that limit the media attention: no controversy = no story?

Maybe. But there are risks to staying silent. The bigots would control the message. The reporters would quote the outrageous claims as truth. The youth at the conference would not see parents who love and accept their gay kids. Our allies would not see us stand up for ourselves.

What do we risk by responding?

Anything we do will increase the media attention they receive. They will use that attention to promote their reactionary agenda, and to raise money for anti-gay programs.

These conferences are often timed to coincide with gay or political events. The Orlando conference was held during Gay Days at Disney World. The conference after Anchorage is scheduled for Denver on Nov. 7-9, the site of the Democratic Convention (in a swing state) just days after the election.

What is the significance of Anchorage this September?

Probably the election. Alaskans have plenty of good reasons to vote for Democrats this fall, on both the state and federal levels. The national media is portraying Alaska as a potential swing state.

Will the local conservatives welcome an opportunity to use gay equality as a wedge issue, to rally the religious vote for McCain and Stevens and Young out of “gay panic?” You bet they will.

So how do we address the prejudice without giving it validity?

Here are suggestions from civil rights groups and media experts:

Educate the press about anti-gay groups, and they will use that knowledge to frame better stories.

Be respectful and family-positive if we do anything at the church on the day of the conference.

Hold outreach and media workshops during the year, not only as a reaction to specific anti-gay events.

Participate in community diversity events and build alliances with civil rights and progressive groups.

Share the truth of our lives with the wider community, and they will learn to see us as friends, neighbors and co-workers, not as sins.

Be creative – use this as another opportunity to celebrate our families, our communities and our personal freedom as openly gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people.

Will the majority of Anchorage residents recognize the ex-gay lies as absurd “flat earth” prejudice?

I hope so.

One in Three Same-Sex Couples in Alaska Have Children?

Tuesday, 12 August 2008 – 10:15 PM | One Comment

The New York Times’ Freakonomics blog asked “What will U.S. suburbs look like in 40 years?”

One of the eight respondents was Gary J. Gates, co-author of The Gay and Lesbian Atlas and the demographics expert behind the Advocate Magazine’s article citing Anchorage as an “emerging” gay and lesbian city.

Here are a few quotes from his comments:

“In 1990, fewer than one in ten same-sex couples had children. Today, it’s more like one in five. In states like Mississippi, South Dakota, Alaska, South Carolina, and Louisiana, it’s one in three.”

“The gay-by boom is alive and well in small town and suburban America.”

“While Ward and June Cleaver and their two boys might still be around in the suburbs in forty years, my guess is that their neighbors will be Olivia and Harriet and their twin girls.”

Read the full story, posted today.

"Bloggers Diversity Week" and Other Good Ideas

Monday, 11 August 2008 – 12:37 PM | Comments Off

The fundies are holding a “Go Back In The Closet And Stay There” event in Anchorage this September, to shame and blame, to throw support to the scandal-ridden Republicans, and to raise money for their ultra-right wing ultra-bigoted social and political agenda.

Last week, I asked how we should respond. The emails are interesting: from “Don’t bother – anything we do will just give them more media attention and make their ridiculous claims seem legitimate” to “We should hold a protest at the church followed by a forum to educate the public – a forum by itself will only be attended by those who already support us” and “Protesting a house of worship is disrespectful – let’s take the high road and find a better way.”

So far, the most popular response in the blog survey is to “educate the media and community with a presentation or forum.” We’ve had two great offers from national groups that help with these kinds of presentations, and do plenty of other good work: GLAAD and Truth Wins Out.

GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) offers information about the “so-called “ex-gay” groups and their discredited de-gayification techniques” and lists suggestions for getting involved. GLAAD offers messaging help and spokesperson training, and helped Oregon’s GLBT groups organize an alternative celebration called “Love Welcomes All” when the ex-gay conference came to Portland last summer.

Truth Wins Out’s Wayne Besen, a survivor of the ex-gay program (an ex-“ex-gay”), will be speaking at various events in Anchorage on Sept. 9-15.

Meanwhile, Anchorage blogger Celtic Diva reported that the group bringing the de-gaying day also called for a “downpour of Biblical proportions” during Obama’s nomination speech at the Democratic Convention. When she learned that the conference (called an “ex-gay” conference but even they admit that they cannot change anyone) will be in Anchorage on September 13th, Celtic Diva posted:

“As mentioned on Bent, Alaska–September is the Mayor’s Diversity Month and his next (last) organizing meeting for that is August 21. I have been thinking about Alaska bloggers having a “Bloggers Diversity Week” in September with each day a different diversity issue. I nominate September 13, 2008 GLBT Day!

She later commented that we should do GLBT issues on Friday so the media has access to the posts before the conference on Saturday.

Well, I think that’s an excellent idea! I especially like how it uses their negative event to create something positive for us and for Anchorage. I look forward to reading and promoting the other diversity posts throughout the week, and am happy to use Bent Alaska to share our GLBT lives with the wider Anchorage community.

Other ideas?

"Pirates of the Carrots & Beans" – PFLAG at the Tanana Valley Fair

Sunday, 10 August 2008 – 10:53 PM | 2 Comments

This Week in GLBT Alaska: 8/8-8/14

Friday, 8 August 2008 – 7:12 PM | Comments Off

From Alaska GLBT News (subscribe)

Anchorage

TLFMC‘s Summer BBQ on 8/10 at 4 p.m.

Support Marriage Equality: Celebrate the Summer of Love 8/14, 4:30-7:00 p.m. at Mad Myrna’s. A fundraiser to protect marriage equality in California.

Homer

Bac’untry Bruthers play at the Down East Saloon on Thursday 8/14 at 10 p.m., and at Kharacters Bar on 8/15 at 10 p.m. They’re also playing at the Trapper Creek Music & Arts Festival on 8/9 at 1 a.m.

Fairbanks

Stop by the PFLAG booth at the Tanana Valley Fair, thru 8/9

How Many Happy Meals Does It Take to Change a Homophobe?

Thursday, 7 August 2008 – 10:20 AM | Comments Off

The anti-gay American Family Association (AFA) recently called a boycott of McDonald’s. Focus on the Family, the group that is bringing the De-Gaying Conference to Anchorage‘s Abbott Loop Church, supported the effort.

The reason for the boycott: McDonald’s allowed their VP of Communications to join the Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

The AFA asked McDonald’s to remove itself from the Chamber. Instead of caving to the homophobes, McDonald’s stood up to them:

“Hatred has no place in our culture,” said McDonald’s USA spokesman Bill Whitman. “That includes McDonald’s, and we stand by and support our people to live and work in a society free of discrimination and harassment.”

“McDonald’s is associated with countless local and national affinity groups. . . . We have a well-established and proud heritage of associating with individuals and organizations that share the belief that every person has the right to live and work in a community free of discrimination.”

We should thank McDonald’s for supporting diversity and including us in their vision of a hate-free society.

Alaska’s GLBT community is currently deciding how we will challenge FoF’s “ex-gay” roadshow. Should we plan a peaceful protest outside the church? Hold an educational forum to debunk their junk science? Show films on the damage done by “reparative” therapy?

All of those are good choices.

And there’s a McDonald’s right across the street from the Abbott Loop Church . . .

Challenging the “ex-gay” lies: How will we respond?

Wednesday, 6 August 2008 – 1:03 AM | 6 Comments

The controversial evangelical groups Focus on the Family and Exodus International are targeting Anchorage for their next “Ex-Gay” Conference on September 13. Their “ministry” is teaching gays and lesbians how to ‘pray away the gay.’ They use harmful and ineffective therapies on young adults struggling with same-sex attractions, and convince religious parents that their gay kids can become heterosexual and be saved.

The conference is also designed to show religious conservatives how to oppose LGBT civil rights without sounding like haters, and to swamp the local media with fake science and outright lies that support a homophobic political agenda. Read more about the conference sessions and goals.

So, how will Alaska’s LGBT communities and allies respond: ignore them? protest? hold counter-events?

Here is a list of recent actions taken by other communities, ideas from organizations that challenge the “ex-gay” myths, and suggestions for connecting our actions with larger events that are happening at the same time:

PFLAG Florida held a silent protest at the Love Won Out “Ex-Gay” Conference in Orlando on June 7. Watch the moving PFLAG video of the parents sharing their reasons for joining the protest.
Equality Asheville and a coalition of state and local organizations held a week of events with the theme “You’re Fine Just the Way You Are” to counteract the Exodus International conference in North Carolina, July 15-20. Two Unitarian Universalist Churches and the public library showed the films “For the Bible Tells Me So” and “Fish Can’t Fly” followed by discussions led by pastors. On Saturday, PFLAG hosted a Real-Families Picnic.
The kickoff event in Asheville was a presentation on Challenging the “Ex-Gay” Theory by Wayne Besen, Director of Truth Wins Out and author of “Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth.” Besen, a nationally known expert exposing “the Big Lie” of ex-gay programs, has been on every program from CNN to the Daily Show and has agreed to bring his presentation to Anchorage.
Besen can also help organize an educational forum or press conference with experts on the ex-gay myth, affirming pastors who talk about homosexuality and the Bible, parents who unconditionally accept their GLBT children, and former “ex-gays” who were damaged by their experiences in these groups.
The September 13 de-gaying conference falls during the Mayor’s Diversity Month, when the diverse local communities in Anchorage are encouraged “to host events that combat bias and promote a respect for diversity.” Our educational events will fit that description and can be connected to the Diversity Month program.
That weekend is also the beginning of Seven Straight Nights for Equal Rights ’08, coordinated by Atticus Circle and Soulforce, “a national event that provides straight Americans with opportunities to do justice, and motivates new allies to stand up and be counted for equality. Seven Straight Nights consists of nighttime vigils led by straight allies during the week of September 14-20. The vigils are led by families, individuals, or groups, and focus on their personal decision to speak out on behalf of LGBT equality.” This is another opportunity to challenge the ex-gay lies and connect our actions to a larger event.

What should we do? With all these options, and experienced leaders willing to help, should we ignore the “ex-gay” conference and allow their lies to go unchallenged? Vote in the poll (in the right-hand column), post a comment with your suggestions, and help organize our response as a community!

“Ex-gay” roadshow targets Anchorage

Tuesday, 5 August 2008 – 2:29 PM | 4 Comments

As if the gloomy weather wasn’t bad enough, the “ex-gays” are coming to town. The anti-gay groups Focus on the Family and Exodus International are bringing their de-gaying conference to Anchorage’s Abbott Loop Community Church on September 13, 2008.