A long-overdue Bent Alaska update — October 2013

Alaska PrideFest 2010 Schedule

“The goal of PrideFest is to provide the community with a means to celebrate the diversity within Alaska, and to give expression to the pride we feel as gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people. We hope this public celebration and affirmation of our heritage and history will serve as inspiration for those who are questioning their own sexual or gender identity.”

Saturday June 26

11am – Celebrating Diversity Parade, with Anchorage Assembly member Elvi Gray-Jackson as the Grand Marshal, will begin at 6th and D and proceed to the Memorial Block of Delaney Park Strip. The 2010 parade route is posted HERE.

Noon – 6pm – Pride on the Park Strip! A festival for all ages with free admission. Bring cash for food, vendors and fun new activities. The Kiddie Carnival is back for the youngest among us. Teens can meet up at the Chill Out Tent. Let out your inner child at the Bungee Run, Bucking Salmon, Sumo Wrestling and more. Plus, you can bike to the park strip where BCA will provide free and secure bike parking beginning at 11am. The festival will be on the Park Strip (between 9th and 10th) near K street.

Prop 8 closing arguments made, decision in a few weeks

“What we are talking about here is allowing individuals who have the same impulses, the same drives, the same desires as all of the rest of us to have a relationship in harmony, stability, and to form a family in a neighborhood, all of those things that the Supreme Court talked about. And now tell me how it helps the rest of the citizens of California to keep them out of the club? It doesn’t.”

“… you are discriminating against a group of people, you are causing them harm, you are excluding them from an important part of life and you have to have a good reason for that. And I submit at the end of the day ‘I don’t know’ and ‘I don’t have any evidence,’ with all due respect to Mr. Cooper, it does not cut it. It does not cut it when you are taking away the basic human rights and human decency from a large group of individuals and you don’t know why they are a threat to your particular institution.”

“You cannot then in the face of all those decisions by the United States Supreme Court say to these individuals we are going to take away the constitutional right to liberty, privacy, association and sexual intimacy that we tell you that you have, and then we will now use that as a basis for not allowing you the freedom to marry. That is not acceptable. It’s not acceptable under our constitution. And Mr. Blankenhorn is absolutely right, the day that we end that we will be more American.”

Today’s arguments overwhelmingly demonstrated the volume and strength of the plaintiffs’ evidence, and the complete lack of evidence in support of Proposition 8.

Theodore Olson of Gibson, Dunn did a masterful job for the plaintiffs. He focused his presentation on the two plaintiff couples’ moving testimony about why marriage is important to them. Olson also highlighted the testimony from all of the expert witnesses – on both sides of the case – who unanimously agreed that marriage would enhance the well-being of same-sex couples and their kids. Olson hammered home the point that during the election, Prop 8 backers argued that children needed be “protected” from gay people — but during the trial, the Prop 8 backers did not raise this argument, which echoes themes that anti-gay forces have used for decades to stigmatize and marginalize gay men and lesbians. Instead, the attorneys defending Prop 8 argued that same-sex couples must be excluded from marriage because the purpose of marriage is procreation. Olson countered that the right to marry, according to the U.S. Supreme Court, is about the individual right to form a family, whether or not procreation is involved.

Asked by Judge Walker to describe the evidence supporting his position, Charles Cooper, the attorney defending Proposition 8, repeatedly said that there was no need for evidence to support his case. At one point, he claimed that even the single expert witness on his side, David Blankenhorn, had been unnecessary, because simply looking at the dictionary would show that the definition of marriage presumes procreation. Judge Walker asked Cooper about different-sex couples who cannot or do not procreate, and about different-sex married couples who do not procreate “naturally” because they adopt children or need medical assistance to conceive. Cooper returned time and again to the argument that marriage is needed in order to “channel” heterosexual people into having sex, and procreating, within marriage, but was unable to point to any evidence from trial that allowing same-sex couples to marry would have any effect on the “channeling” of heterosexual reproduction into marriage.

Judge Walker’s sharply questioned both Olson and Cooper about the facts presented at the trial. Although it’s risky to predict how a judge might be leaning based on the questions he asked, several of Judge Walker’s suggested that he might be considering applying some type of heightened scrutiny to Prop 8 because it discriminates against people based on their sexual orientation. Judge Walker indicated that in his view, whether a trait is “immutable” and whether the excluded group lacks political power are not the key factors supporting heightened scrutiny. Instead, his questions indicated that he considers it more important that the group have a long history of discrimination based on a factor that is irrelevant to their ability to contribute to society. Based on the evidence presented at trial, that would certainly be true of gay men and lesbians. Ted Olson and David Boies’s team put on compelling expert testimony about the long and painful history of discrimination against LGBT people. If the judge does decide to apply some type of heightened scrutiny, it’s very hard to see how Prop 8 could be upheld. The defenders of Prop 8 offered no evidence that there was even a rational reason, let alone a compelling one, for the voters to single out one category of California couples for unequal treatment under the law.

Celebration of Life for Dan Carter-Incontro, June 19

Please join the Alaska friends and family of Dan Carter-Incontro, a civil rights champion and good friend to many, for a Celebration of his Life & Legacy during Alaska Pride Week, on Saturday, June 19, from 3-5 p.m. at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church in Anchorage.

Dan died on April 18 in Clermont, Florida, at the age of 62. He is survived by his husband and partner of 42 years, Al Carter-Incontro, and his sister Sarah. Memorial services were held in Florida and Anchorage, but the local Celebration of Life was delayed until Al could join us.

Dan lived in Anchorage for about 30 years, worked for the Transit Department, and was a supporter of the Anchorage Gay and Lesbian Community Center, Identity, the Metropolitan Community Church, and other LGBT groups. He was also active in the Alaska Democratic Party and served as Alaska’s first openly gay democratic delegate. The new LGBT Democratic Caucus has been named after him, as the conference room in the Community Center was named after Dan and Al several years ago.

Celebrate the Life & Legacy of Dan Carter-Incontro: Saturday, June 19, from 3-5 p.m. at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, on the corner of Lake Otis & Tudor in Anchorage.

Santaland responds to anti-gay incident

Dear Sir,

I appreciate your invitation to respond to the allegation that we evicted a guest of Santaland RV Park based on sexual orientation.

With regard to this particular incident, there were a number of things that were considered when we made our decision to ask this guest to leave our park. For privacy reasons I will not go into these factors, but I can assure you that sexual orientation was never even considered in the course of our decision to evict the guest, and certainly never came up in our discussions with this particular guest.

We have had tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of happy guests through our park over the years. We have always, and will continue to welcome everyone to our park, regardless of sexual orientation or any other factor.

Sincerely,

Santaland RV Park

Where Santa Spends His Summers!

125 St. Nicholas Drive, North Pole, AK 99705

1.907.488.9123 / Toll Free 1.888.488.9123

www.SantalandRV.com / info@SantalandRV.com

Juneau adds Film Night to Pride Picnic and Hike

"City of Borders" at Mini Film Fest for Anchorage Pride

"Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" at Mini Film Fest for Anchorage Pride

"The Big Gay Musical" at Mini Film Fest for Anchorage Pride

I’m from Alaska: True LGBT Stories

I had my first [coming out] conversation twenty-nine years ago, driving my friend, Trent, back from a high school dance in downtown Juneau to his house near mine in the Valley:

“I want to tell you something, but I’m afraid it could hurt our friendship, and I don’t want it to. It’s hard to talk about, and I’ve been avoiding telling you, but I want to.”

“Okay.”

“I’m gay.”

“Okay. It’s no big deal. Just slow down!” Apparently, my nervousness had caused me to tense up and clamp down, including clamping my foot down on the gas pedal.

“Well,” I thought afterward, “that went a lot better than I feared.”

There are gay stories from every corner of the Earth and I think they should be told. But why? What does it mean??

To the gay teens struggling to come out and deal with their sexuality, who to this day still attempt suicide 4 times more than straight kids, it says “you are not alone.” Other people have dealt with similar situations, families, communities and churches, and have overcome and are now living happy lives. It can happen for you, too. It gets soooo much better, I promise. Hang in there, kiddo.

And to the people who don’t support equal rights, it says we’re not all that different after all. We all have stories and problems and loves and lives just like everyone else. So maybe we should all be treated like everyone else, too.

“Mom, I have something I need to tell you.” I said, trying to find the words. “I don’t know how to tell you this, so I will just put it out there. I am gay.”

There are some things in my life that I never considered that I would be sharing with my mother, or any of my family for that matter. I never saw my preference in a love partner as anyone’s business but mine. The climate of hostility that still surrounds the issue of gay and lesbian people only secured the thought in my mind. All of that changed last year.

In January of 2009 a good friend of mine, Chris, passed away from complications with the HIV virus. I took his death hard, but in a way it helped me more than I knew at the time. The whole time that I knew Chris he pushed me to talk with my family about being gay. He told me that the closet put so much stress on me that I wasn’t even able to see yet. When he passed away I was finally able to see what he meant.

For over a month I was not able to discuss with anyone that a close friend of mine had just died. I was not able to cry about it. I was not able to deal with the feelings that his death brought up in me. Instead these feelings were only allowed to fester and grow inside of me until I could not bear it anymore.

I called my mom one morning. “Mom, we need to talk. Would it be alright if I came over tonight?”

“I would love to talk with you, John.” She said. “Come over when I get home from work.”

Even with the now obvious stress that keeping quiet was putting on me, I almost backed down. I almost chose to remain silent. The level of hostility that still remains in society around the issue of gay and lesbian people scared me enough that I was not sure how my own mother would take this news.

“Mom, I have something I need to tell you. I don’t know how to tell you this, so I will just put it out there. I am gay.”

“I am not shocked.” my mother said.

“Is that all?” I asked, ready for any response.

“John, I still love you. I am not shocked by this. If you are going to choose to explore this path, I will support you. There may come a time when things change for you. You don’t really know who you are until you are a bit older.” she said.

I had a mixture of feelings. Mostly overwhelming joy, though. There was a subtle hint of annoyance, but joy overpowered this. She still loved me. These were the words I was hoping to hear for longer than I realized.

“What made you want to tell me this now?” She asked me.

I explained to her that I had a friend that had died recently, and that having to hide this part of me meant having to hide my pain in relation to him.

The conversation went long into the night. There were a lot of happy tears mixed with some sad ones. When the conversation drew to a close my mom offered these last words.

“John, I want you to be happy. If this is what will make you happy I will support you. If you bring someone home, though, be sure it is someone I would approve of, male or female.”

In the months since this I have had similar conversations with the other members of my family. I look back on the last 9 years that I spent hiding with a lot of regret. I somehow allowed other people’s fear and misunderstanding of gay and lesbian people to damage and restrain my relationships with my family. I spent nearly a decade hiding from myself. Now I will spend the next decade, and longer, working to ensure that the next generation will not have to hide from themselves, or anyone else.

I leave you with the words of the author Dr. Seuss. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Alaska pays for Parnell’s date with Colorado homophobes

Gov. Sean Parnell traveled out of state this week at the request of anti-gay, anti-choice Focus on the Family to discuss their theories on domestic violence, foster care and adoption — and Alaska paid for his trip, according to two reports in the Alaska Dispatch. FotF pushes dangerous pray-away-the-gay methods, opposes any recognition of same-sex relationships, and called children raised by gay parents “human guinea pigs.”

Parnell left Anchorage Monday afternoon to travel to Colorado, where he had been invited by Focus on the Family leadership, according to spokeswoman Sharon Leighow. Although the invitation was extended by Focus on the Family, the trip was paid for by the state, and Parnell was accompanied by a state aide. Leighow said she didn’t know yet how much the trip cost.

“Focus on the Family shared many good ideas that the governor could utilize in Alaska,” Leighow said. “That was the purpose of the trip.” (We didn’t ask Leighow whether the governor has received similar invitations from, say, PFLAG or the Colorado Springs Pride Center.)

Leighow said she didn’t know whether the organization identified particular areas of interest when it invited Parnell to Colorado, but was able to say that the governor traded ideas about domestic violence, foster care and adoption with Focus on the Family CEO Jim Daly and other senior staff. Focus on the Family and its political arm, CitizenLink, are active in the anti-abortion movement, but Leighow said as far as she knew, the issue of abortion was not discussed at the meeting.

FotF’s ideas about domestic violence, foster care and adoption do not include anything positive for LGBT families. In an article against same-sex families, FotF’s Glenn Stanton drew dire conclusions from a few studies on kids in heterosexual step-parent families, declared that all same-sex families are comparable to heterosexual step-parent families, and wrote that children of same-sex parents may be at higher risk for abuse because non-biological parents have no real connection to their children.

So, we must ask, “Is it wise to enter the same-sex family experiment with a generation of children so we can learn how it will turn out?” Is it ethical to turn thousands of children into human guinea pigs? The answer must be a resounding “no.”

The hate watch site Good As You wrote last week:

Focus on the Family dedicates much time to keeping same-sex couples away from adoption, foster care, and a whole host of protections that strengthen LGBT families. And of course they work every day to deny a fair shake to gay kids and/or the kids of gay parents… [They] talk only about the kind of “strong family environment” that’s defined by evangelism and heterosexuality.

Is Parnell planning an election campaign based on taking away adoption and foster care rights from same sex parents?