A long-overdue Bent Alaska update — October 2013

GLAAD media training in Anchorage

Adam Bass, a Senior Media Strategist at GLAAD in Los Angeles, is coming to Anchorage to offer a media workshop for the LGBT community and allies. Community members, religious and organization leaders, and allies are invited to come to the workshop.

The event will be from 10am to 1pm on Saturday, September 11, at the conference room in the lower level of 1057 West Fireweed Lane.

The workshop will focus on how to tell our stories and build support through media advocacy. By ensuring that the stories of LGBT people are heard through the media, we will promote understanding, increase acceptance, and advance equality.

Participants will learn the ins and outs of communications strategy, talking points, media interviews, and the power of telling their story.

Communications work, like lobbying or door knocking, involves strategy that can move public opinion about issues to accomplish a goal. This advocacy workshop will give you the resources you need to speak up about equality, to move public opinion, and to help make equality in Anchorage a reality!

The workshop will be free of charge. For more information, please contact Adam Bass, Senior Media Strategist at GLAAD, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

Four A’s 25th Anniversary

Pentagon’s DADT spouse survey & letters from same sex partners

Dear General Ham and Mr. Johnson:

In 1990 – while working as a reference librarian at the Library of Congress — I met Joan Darrah, an active duty Naval Officer. I already knew about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” but I soon woke up to the harsh reality that loved ones of gay and lesbian family members are forced to serve in silence, too.

Over the years, Joan had adjusted to living two lives — in the closet at work and out after hours. For me, it was a bit of an adjustment as I had been fortunate to work for an employer who valued my skills and expertise and realized that my being a lesbian in no way detracted from my ability to do a great job.

I knew that Joan could be deployed at any moment. She may be away from home for two or three years. I realized that being with an active duty military officer was even more constricting than I could have possibly imagined and I worried constantly about Joan’s well being. Yet, through it all, I knew our relationship was worth the compromises. I knew we had to make it work for Joan to continue to serve our Country.

There were so many things that we had to be careful about. For example, Joan had asked that I not call her at work unless it was truly an emergency. When we were out in public if Joan saw someone from work, I learned to “disappear,” until Joan’s co-worker moved on. We didn’t dare go to nice restaurants on Valentine’s Day or even Saturday nights. We could not show any familiarity while out in public. I went to parties at colleagues’ homes alone lest a guest I didn’t know learn that Joan was in the Navy.

The events of September 11, 2001, caused us both appreciate more fully the true impact of DADT on our lives and the reality of our mutual sacrifices. At 8:30 a.m. that morning, Joan went to a meeting in the Pentagon. At 9:30 a.m., she left that meeting. At 9:37 a.m., the plane flew into the Pentagon and destroyed the exact space that Joan had left less than eight minutes earlier, killing seven of her colleagues.

In the days and weeks that followed, Joan went to several funerals and memorial services for her co-workers who had been killed. Most people attended these services with their spouses whose support was critical at this difficult time, yet Joan was forced to go alone, even though I really wanted to be with her to provide support.

As the numbness began to wear off, it hit me how incredibly alone I would have been had Joan been killed. The military is known for how it pulls together and helps people; we talk of the “military family,” which is a way of saying we always look after each other, especially in times of need. But, none of that support would have been available for me, because under DADT, I didn’t exist.

In fact, I would have been one of the last people to know had Joan been killed, because nowhere in her paperwork or emergency contact information had Joan dared to list my name.

Whenever I hear Joan recount the events of that day, I relive it and realize all over again how devastated I would have been had she been killed. I also think of the partners of service members injured or killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. They are unable to get any support from the military and they must be careful about the amount of support they offer to their closeted service member loved ones.

The events of September 11th caused us to stop and reassess exactly what was most important in our lives. During that process, we realized that this discriminatory law was causing us to make a much bigger sacrifice than either of us had ever admitted.

Eight months later, in June 2002, Joan retired from the U.S. Navy, and I retired from the Library of Congress. If it wasn’t for DADT, we might both still be serving in our respective positions.

Make "Housing First" a reality, support Karluk Manor

HOUSING FIRST

Make It A Reality

A Housing First project is critical to our efforts in eliminating homelessness from our community. RurALCAP is working hard to establish Anchorage’s first large Housing First complex (48 efficiency-style units); Karluk Manor. Without a Housing First project, Anchorage will continue to struggle with the negative community impacts caused by the chronically homeless population.

Four A’s has approximately 15 clients who are chronically homeless who would greatly benefit from this project. These individuals have been unsuccessful in any of the housing programs we have provided over the years. Without housing, these individuals are unable to remain adherent to HIV medications or consistently access support services. Each year we are serving more and more hard-to-serve/house individuals. Without this project, these people will remain homeless.

WE NEED YOUR VOICE NOW!!

To make Karluk Manor a reality, RurALCAP requires a conditional use permit. We need you to voice your support for the project. For more information on Karluk Manor, click here. At the bottom of the page is information regarding Housing First (PDF) and Karluk Manor (PDF).

Click here to voice your support. Without community support, this project will die and we will not have a Housing First project for many years to come. Help us achieve our goal of 100 people providing positive testimony for Karluk Manor. Comments can be as short as “I support Karluk Manor”, to more details outlining why you support the project.

Please join us and countless others in letting our community know the importance of Karluk Manor. The Municipality is putting forth many road blocks that have the potential of “killing” this project. Without your voice, they will win. Share this request with friends and family. We need the city to hear we want Housing First….we want Karluk Manor.

The deadline for public comment is July 9, 2010 so click here today to make your voice heard.

Drag Queen Bingo at Snow City tonight

The 3rd annual Drag Queen Bingo is on Thursday June 24 from 6-9 p.m. at Snow City Café in downtown Anchorage, and it’s a fundraiser for the Four A’s Anchorage Mpowerment Project (AMP). This PrideFest event is bigger and better than ever, according to Identity’s The NorthView.

Denali Moose Scat Race benefits Interior AIDS

ARAMARK parks and resorts is kicking off their season with the annual Moose Scat Scoot Race. Thanks to the community’s previous donations and assistance, our staff can continue to bring various recreational and social events to Denali. The goal of this event is to raise funds for the Interior Alaska AIDS Association.

This year’s Moose Scat Scoot will take place on Saturday, June 26, 2010 inside Denali Park. The race consists of a half marathon bike/run, 5k run/walk, and a 1/2 mile fun run/walk. There will be an entry fee of $25 for each runner, with sponsorships to raise money for the Alaskan Interior AIDS Association.

We hope that you will consider donating items to provide us assistance with prizes and merchandise that will go toward participants and winners, as well as helping provide friendly benefits for the community. Your contributions will be one huge asset to the race and any donation will go directly to the Interior Alaska AIDS Association.

For further consideration, any business which is able to provide prizes and items in the amount of $200.00 or more will have the benefit of displaying their business’ name screen-printed on the back of the event T-shirt.

Miss MeMe’s Glee-themed promo for HIV Testing Week (video)

Juneau adds Film Night to Pride Picnic and Hike

I’m from Alaska: True LGBT Stories

I had my first [coming out] conversation twenty-nine years ago, driving my friend, Trent, back from a high school dance in downtown Juneau to his house near mine in the Valley:

“I want to tell you something, but I’m afraid it could hurt our friendship, and I don’t want it to. It’s hard to talk about, and I’ve been avoiding telling you, but I want to.”

“Okay.”

“I’m gay.”

“Okay. It’s no big deal. Just slow down!” Apparently, my nervousness had caused me to tense up and clamp down, including clamping my foot down on the gas pedal.

“Well,” I thought afterward, “that went a lot better than I feared.”

There are gay stories from every corner of the Earth and I think they should be told. But why? What does it mean??

To the gay teens struggling to come out and deal with their sexuality, who to this day still attempt suicide 4 times more than straight kids, it says “you are not alone.” Other people have dealt with similar situations, families, communities and churches, and have overcome and are now living happy lives. It can happen for you, too. It gets soooo much better, I promise. Hang in there, kiddo.

And to the people who don’t support equal rights, it says we’re not all that different after all. We all have stories and problems and loves and lives just like everyone else. So maybe we should all be treated like everyone else, too.

“Mom, I have something I need to tell you.” I said, trying to find the words. “I don’t know how to tell you this, so I will just put it out there. I am gay.”

There are some things in my life that I never considered that I would be sharing with my mother, or any of my family for that matter. I never saw my preference in a love partner as anyone’s business but mine. The climate of hostility that still surrounds the issue of gay and lesbian people only secured the thought in my mind. All of that changed last year.

In January of 2009 a good friend of mine, Chris, passed away from complications with the HIV virus. I took his death hard, but in a way it helped me more than I knew at the time. The whole time that I knew Chris he pushed me to talk with my family about being gay. He told me that the closet put so much stress on me that I wasn’t even able to see yet. When he passed away I was finally able to see what he meant.

For over a month I was not able to discuss with anyone that a close friend of mine had just died. I was not able to cry about it. I was not able to deal with the feelings that his death brought up in me. Instead these feelings were only allowed to fester and grow inside of me until I could not bear it anymore.

I called my mom one morning. “Mom, we need to talk. Would it be alright if I came over tonight?”

“I would love to talk with you, John.” She said. “Come over when I get home from work.”

Even with the now obvious stress that keeping quiet was putting on me, I almost backed down. I almost chose to remain silent. The level of hostility that still remains in society around the issue of gay and lesbian people scared me enough that I was not sure how my own mother would take this news.

“Mom, I have something I need to tell you. I don’t know how to tell you this, so I will just put it out there. I am gay.”

“I am not shocked.” my mother said.

“Is that all?” I asked, ready for any response.

“John, I still love you. I am not shocked by this. If you are going to choose to explore this path, I will support you. There may come a time when things change for you. You don’t really know who you are until you are a bit older.” she said.

I had a mixture of feelings. Mostly overwhelming joy, though. There was a subtle hint of annoyance, but joy overpowered this. She still loved me. These were the words I was hoping to hear for longer than I realized.

“What made you want to tell me this now?” She asked me.

I explained to her that I had a friend that had died recently, and that having to hide this part of me meant having to hide my pain in relation to him.

The conversation went long into the night. There were a lot of happy tears mixed with some sad ones. When the conversation drew to a close my mom offered these last words.

“John, I want you to be happy. If this is what will make you happy I will support you. If you bring someone home, though, be sure it is someone I would approve of, male or female.”

In the months since this I have had similar conversations with the other members of my family. I look back on the last 9 years that I spent hiding with a lot of regret. I somehow allowed other people’s fear and misunderstanding of gay and lesbian people to damage and restrain my relationships with my family. I spent nearly a decade hiding from myself. Now I will spend the next decade, and longer, working to ensure that the next generation will not have to hide from themselves, or anyone else.

I leave you with the words of the author Dr. Seuss. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Mailbag: Alaska’s Foster Care Reform (update: signed!)

I read your last posting about Kady Titus and I was extremely excited to hear about her great accomplishments. Unfortunately, not all youth in our state’s foster care system are succeeding as well. We also know that LGBTQ youth often have some of the most difficult experiences in our foster care system.

Please spread this message to as many people as possible to help support Alaska’s youth in foster care. Below is a message from Rose Foley, Legislative Aide for Representative Les Gara, about current legislation in front of the Governor that needs community support to ensure that it doesn’t get vetoed! These funds will directly impact lives of hundreds of youth in our state’s foster care system. Please take the moment read and act!

All you have to do is send an email to Governor Parnell stating, “I believe in supporting youth in foster care and I urge you to support HB 126 and the budget items that have been included.” sean.parnell@alaska.gov It will take you no more then 2 minutes of your time and may have dramatic impact on lives of our state’s youth in transitional care.

Thank you for your continual support of ALL of Alaska’s youth!

Here is the message from Rose Foley, Aide to Represenative Gara:

This session House Bill 126 passed, as did important, cost-effective reforms we passed as part of the operating budget. HB 126 extends foster care to age 21 and allowing foster youth to reenter care if they realize they left too soon. The budget reforms and legislation now go to Governor Parnell, who has the power to veto the items that have been included in the budget.

Here’s where you come in!

Email or write to the Governor and tell him that you support HB 126 and the budget items that have been included. Urge him to make sure they stay in the budget. The messages can be short – just be clear about the items you are supporting. Please be sure your messages are polite, and avoid form letters – these are not given as much consideration as a quick note in your own voice. The budget items relating to foster care aim to increase the educational and adult success of these youth, who the state is the legal guardian for. They are:

• $160,500 for two new positions to work as Independent Living Specialists

• $200,000 for a mentoring program

• $80,000 to provide transportation to avoid mid-term school transfers

• $100,000 to extend the housing assistance currently provided

• $55,000 for University of Alaska scholarships

• $85,000 for the Education and Training Vouchers program for higher education

• $30,000 for foster parent recruitment

• $5,000 to send informational mailers about the FosterWear discount clothing program

Please send your emails to: sean.parnell@alaska.gov and karen.rehfeld@alaska.gov

Thanks again for your support. Please take a moment to let your governor know how important these issues are to our state, and Alaska’s children.