Articles in Features
Choosing Alaska: Outdoors and friends make 90% of a good life
We recently posted a letter from a grad student and a letter from a gay couple asking for similar advice: What is it like to live and work in Alaska as an openly-LGBT person?
Our readers responded, sharing their reasons for living in Alaska and their experiences as LGBT. We’re posting their stories in a series called Choosing Alaska.
This reply is from Mike.
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I grew up in rural northern Arizona. Growing up I always knew that I was gay but never knew it was an option. I lived life the way everyone else did and expected me to. It wasn’t until I went to college that I realized it might be possible to be gay. It was through support groups, friends and a process that lasted several years that I finally was confident enough to come out.
After graduation from college, I came to Alaska and worked in the tourism industry. This helped with my internal struggle as the industry has many gay and lesbians who work in the industry. I was in Alaska for five years and loved it. I never ran into any issues with who I was. I also wasn’t broadcasting the fact that I was gay either. But if someone asked I told them.
I moved to Seattle and what an experience that was! I explored the gay life and got to see what the city had to offer. It was fun to experience but it really wasn’t me. I was in a relationship for eight years and when it ended, I realized just how unhappy I was living in the city. Despite it being full of openly gay men, I was getting no interest from anyone. I was miserable in my job and painting myself into a corner where I was soon to be stuck. All my friends were up here in Alaska.
I came for a long weekend to visit. I surprised my friends and just showed up one day. The second thing out of my mouth was “I’m moving back up here!” I hadn’t even given it a thought yet it came out so easily. After the visit I went back to Seattle and within three months I was living in Alaska. I went from a condo on Queen Anne with a view of the city skyline and the Space Needle to living in a dry cabin out in Goldstream and I had never been happier!
I became very comfortable with being a gay man in Seattle. I had photos of my partner on my desk at work. I talked openly about what me and my partner had planned for the weekend or trips we had planned, just like everyone else. Living here in Alaska, that is very different. I have “reeled it in” so to speak at work. I’m not as open about being gay. But again, if asked, I’ll tell.
That said the people I have surrounded myself with are open and accepting people. I am 100% out with them. I have no doubt my boss knows I’m gay and doesn’t care. She’s pretty freaking cool. We just haven’t ever talked about it.
I think one can easily live the gay life up here in the Last Frontier. But I think it’s what you want out of life that determines if you do or not. If have found that people up here don’t really care what you do behind your bedroom door, they just don’t want to know about it or hear about it. But people here seem to be like that about anything. “Believe whatever you want, just don’t push your beliefs on me.”
I was living the typical gay life in Seattle and I was miserable. I’d say I was 90% miserable and 10% happy. Since I moved back almost four years ago, I’m 90% happy, 10% a little unhappy. That could be resolved by meeting the one and living happily ever after. But if that doesn’t happen, I’m good with 90%. Much better than the 10% in Seattle.
For me, I decided what was most important to me. Living with my friends, living in a place where I could camp, hike, kayak, explore….that was all very important to me. I love living in a place where just existing was a challenge. Easy access to gay bars and gay men…not so important. If it were, I would have stayed in Seattle. Every once in a while I get the urge and I just head to Anchorage for a long weekend and have a night out there and that satisfies me.
Ultimately, it comes down to what you want and what you want to experience. If you want the open and out there life, if that’s what’s going to get you to the 90%, maybe think of somewhere Outside. If living in a place that offers you’re the activities you want, the friends that you have, oh and by the way you happen to be gay, then a happy life up here is possible.
I am by no means speaking for anyone other than myself. This is just my approach to life and how I came to the decision to be living here.
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Thanks, Mike!
What is your experience of being LGBT in Alaska? Leave a comment below, or email us directly at Bent Alaska @ gmail .com (without the spaces), and we will include your response in a follow up post. And if you have another topic you’d like to see on Bent Alaska, please tell us about it!
Choosing Alaska: Return to the village, great opportunities in rural Alaska
We recently posted a letter from a graduate student and a letter from a gay couple asking for similar advice: What is it like to live and work in Alaska as an openly-LGBT person?
Our readers responded, sharing their reasons for living in Alaska and their experiences as LGBT Alaskans. We’re posting their stories in a series called Choosing Alaska.
This response is from Andrei.
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I am writing in response to your post on the return of college graduates to Alaska.
My name is Andrei. And I returned to my hometown Bethel following college graduation. I was elected to the Bethel City Council and worked on clinic construction grants for years. I am a gay male.
It was easy to return home. In fact, I didn’t give it much thought. Perhaps I have it much easier than many gay male experiences. Small town Alaska has been very good for me. Because of the brain drain I was able to hit an apex in my profession very quickly in my small town. I soon realized I had to move. I was a big fish in a small pond. I was intellectually curious about many things. And the remoteness of my location prevented me from growth.
And thus I moved.
Today I am in Bethel to care for my mom. She had a major surgery this year and required me to take care of her. I do live in New York City now. And I find Bethel to be a lot like New York. Bethel is Eskimo New York. Anchorage is Eskimo Amsterdam.
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Thanks, Andrei!
What is your experience of being LGBT in Alaska? Leave a comment below, or email us directly at Bent Alaska @ gmail .com (without the spaces), and we will include your response in a follow up post. And if you have another topic you’d like to see on Bent Alaska, please tell us about it!
James Steven “Steve” Reese (1968–2011)
We were saddened to learn last week of the death of PFLAG Juneau volunteer Steve Reese. Our condolences to his children, family and friends, and all who knew him. We excerpt one of his letters to the editor, on Christian attitudes towards LGBT people: “If your Bible tells you to hate or to do hateful things, then you are reading your Bible wrong.”
Identity’s Phyllis Rhodes featured by I’m From Driftwood
Identity’s Phyllis Rhodes was interviewed last November by the I’m From Driftwood Story Tour about Identity, LGBT youth from the villages, and creating a “family of choice” in Alaska.
Bent Alaska readers might remember the I’m From Driftwood Story Tour that was in Alaska last November 9-12. Launched in the Spring of 2009 and inspired by the film “Milk”, I’m From Driftwood collects and shares true lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender stories from all over the world to help LGBT youth realize they’re not alone.
One of the Alaskans the folks from I’m From Driftwood spoke with when they were in Anchorage was Phyllis Rhodes, Executive Director of Identity, Inc. And they posted the video of their interview with her today! I’m From Driftwood writes,
Phyllis Rhodes is simply awesome. She’s the Executive Director of Identity, Anchorage’s LGBT Center, and has a heart of gold. I wish every LGBTQ Alaskan would go pay her a visit because I know they would feel better afterwards. Alaska is lucky to have her.
We completely agree!
Check out some of the other Alaska stories featured by I’m From Driftwood.
Should a married gay couple move to Alaska?
Soon after posting the letter from the graduate student, Bent Alaska received the following letter from Matt and Al asking if their dream of living in Alaska is realistic for them as a married gay couple.
Although Matt lived outside of Fairbanks for 2 years as a kid, he wouldn’t be returning to a familiar place and family members like the grad student. But their main question is the same – what is it like to live and work in Alaska as an openly-LGBT adult? So we’re adding this letter to our Choosing Alaska series and encouraging you to reply.
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My husband, Al, and I are deciding where we would like to settle and Alaska is at the top of our list. I am from Texas and moved to the UK 4 years ago where I met Al. We are interested in Alaska because of what it offers in day to day life: the cool/cold climate, expansive outdoors, fascinated by the long winter nights and relish the long summer days, and the accessibility to buying enough land to keep chickens and other livestock as well as build a decent sized greenhouse to grow as much of our own herbs and vegetables as possible. We also like the low population density yielding plenty of privacy when at home, of which we want to do a self-build from kit–we want to physically contribute to building our home. Work wise, we both come from information technology corporate or retail management backgrounds, though we have considered drawing on Al’s experience growing up in a pub with rooms to start/buy a bed and breakfast.
Living in the UK has afforded us a degree of acceptance that I as an American did not think possible. I am seen simply by my name, not labeled as being gay; I am judged as a person, nothing more or less. Living across the US from CA, TX, and VA, I know that acceptance is not as enjoyable as my experience in Europe. My biggest concern with moving to Alaska is that because it is one of the last frontiers, it may be a large backward in the experience of acceptance than what I am used to. I appreciate that my husband and I may not be able to walk down the street holding hands without at least some hard glares. I would actually expect worse, such as reactive hate crimes, but don’t truly know. That’s what I am trying to gauge and understand.
Al and I will be visiting Alaska for a few weeks next year and will be making it a point to experience as much of the local vibe as possible. In the meantime, I would appreciate any considerations or experiences you have to share to help set my own realistic expectations.
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Readers, what do you think? Leave a comment below, or email us directly at Bent Alaska @ gmail .com (without the spaces), and we will post your response (anonymous posts are ok.) Help this gay couple and others decide whether or not they will settle in Alaska.
And if you have a topic you’d like to see on Bent Alaska, please tell us about it!
Choosing Alaska: Acceptance in non-profits and having a good attitude
We recently posted a letter from a graduate student asking for advice from openly-LGBT Alaskans. What is it like to be an out professional in Alaska?
Our readers responded, sharing their reasons for living in Alaska and their experiences as LGBT. We’re posting their stories in a new series called Choosing Alaska.
The second response was from Kris. (Read the first reply HERE.)
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Hello, Friends!
So let’s be clear: I am not actually who you wanted to hear from. I am not a born and raised LGBTetc Alaskan who studied out of state and then returned. Who I am, is an open, out, proud LGBTetc individual who was raised in New England, studied in New York and then eventually moved to Alaska to live my life the way I chose.
My name is Kris and I am a 27 year old gender-queer individual who was born female-bodied and has chosen to make my life surrounded by other gender-queers, lesbians, dykes and whatever the heck else people want to call themselves. I have a wonderful partner and although we are still building our relationship and life together, she is for sure an amazing woman whom I am openly, 100% of the time, proud to be with.
I am a Victim Advocate and have and do work with several non-profits including the YWCA Anchorage, Covenant House Alaska and Standing Together Against Rape (STAR). I have a Masters level education and consider myself to be both a role model and advocate within the professional community here in Anchorage for equality and a focus on LGBTetc issues. I volunteer with various youth initiatives, donate time to conferences and other educational causes and make a general effort to put myself out there in a positive light for the communities I exist within.
So why Alaska? Really, the question is “why not?” Sure, it’s small here. Which is ironic given the size of the state, but what does that matter, really? It doesn’t matter how large or small a locales queer community is. What matters is what you make of it, the relationships you choose to cultivate and how you portray that community to the others which you exist in. Working in the non-profit sector I find that I am generally surrounded by queer-positive people. This, of course, is not always the case for people in other professions, so I do acknowledge the slant in my perspective.
If I came here with the mindset that this was another small town (New Hampshire is full of them, I am no stranger!) and I was bound to lead a life of internalized homophobia and guilt and shame, then that is exactly what would have happened. Instead, I sought out resources, organizations and like-minded, progressive individuals. I made no attempt at masking who I am or what I believe in and I never apologized for who I am.
I have a self-made attitude that exudes, “I’m here. This is who I am. This is what I bring to the table. How can we help each other?” Would this be what happened if I had gone back to the sleepy town I grew up in? You better believe it. And for awhile, it did. And without incident. I didn’t come to Alaska to run away from a small town’s LGBTetc’s hot mess. I came to Alaska, in part, to participate in that small town community, and this just happens to be who I am.
Sincerely,
Another out, proud, educated professional in Alaska
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Thanks, Kris!
What is your experience of being LGBT in Alaska? Leave a comment below, or email us directly at Bent Alaska @ gmail .com (without the spaces), and we will include your response in a follow up post. And if you have another topic you’d like to see on Bent Alaska, please tell us about it!
Paula Poundstone: America is maturing on gay marriage
NPR is taping “Wait, Wait… Don’t Tell Me” live in Fairbanks on August 11 with panelists Paula Poundstone, Tom Bodett, and Adam Felber (sorry, it’s sold out.) Poundstone is also touring her own standup comedy show, although she’s not performing it in Alaska (darn!) OUTTAKE VOICES interviewed her after a recent show and asked about her tour, the NPR series and LGBT issues.
When asked what her personal commitment is to LGBT civil rights, Poundstone stated, “I think that I am an advocate of civil rights for all, I don’t know if it’s limited to one particular group. I am thrilled to death to see America maturing in the gay marriage arena. Although frankly, I’m not clear why anyone wants to be married, but OK.
I always thought that people’s argument against gay marriage has always been that it would somehow destroy the sanctity of marriage and I’m kind of a mind that whoever was in charge of the sanctity to begin with had kind of fallen asleep at the helm.
I think it is exciting to live in a time when things are changing. I’m really excited when my daughter who’s in high school tells me ‘you know so and so is gay.’ I just marvel. Not because her friend is gay but that it’s casual information.
It’s just when I was growing up, in high school, I was the class of ’77, of course there were many gays among my class, no one would ever have said so. Ever. So I think it’s thrilling and I try to emphasize that to my kids how lucky they are to be alive in a time when people can more or less be who they are.”
Paula is headed to Alaska to record the NPR hit weekly news quiz show, “Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me”. Poundstone states “To have access to the NPR audience is pretty darn fun. They’re smart. They’re well informed. Not that I fall into either of those categories, by the way; less and less so as I grow older, in fact.” She adds that her appearances on NPR actually improve her stand-up act and vice versa.
Listen to the full interview on OUTTAKE VOICES. (There’s much more to it, the gay questions are at the end.)
To the lucky Fairbanks people who got tickets to the live taping – enjoy the show!
Choosing Alaska: Great community, but harassment at work is common
Why do you live in Alaska?
We recently posted a letter from a graduate student who grew up in Alaska, went outside for college, and is considering whether or not to return and start a professional career here. The student asked for advice from openly-LGBT Alaskans who returned after college. What is it like to be an out professional in Alaska?
Our readers responded, sharing their reasons for living in Alaska and their experiences as LGBT people here. Some grew up in Alaska, others moved here as adults. Some live in the cities, others in small towns or the Bush. Some are Native, some are not. We’re posting their stories together in a new series called Choosing Alaska.
The first response was from Alaskan Amber who began college outside but returned to study at UAA and work in Anchorage.
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I did not graduate from a university out of state but rather I went out and came back during college. I went to Salem, Oregon to Willamette University my first year. I found a very liberal community with professors who were more concerned with their own research and success than their students no matter what issues or topics their students raised. I found a community of people who were very accepting as long as you agreed with them. I was not ready to confront my family about being gay and I did not want to make myself “look lesbian” as the Gay student club there wanted their members to look. I was essentially shunned for this. I returned to Alaska to go to UAA and I found the opposite here.
Alaska as a whole is more conservative but the community at UAA and the Anchorage LGBTQA community embraced me to the point that I consider many of its members family. They supported me for who I am and did not push me beyond my comfort zone. They did encourage me to expand my comfort zone which allowed me to talk to my biological family after time. I have been working here in Alaska since the day I returned from Oregon.
Every environment I have been in has contained coworkers that were blatantly against the LGBT community. In some of the environments in larger corporations this was revealed in passing statements regarding something on the news or an upcoming event that was discussed in the break room. In the smaller environments, such as the family run law office I worked in for over two years, the coworkers have been much more harsh and rarely addressed if addressed at all for their hatred and inappropriate comments while on the clock. The comments turned into hateful actions toward me in two offices. One office it was immediately addressed and never occurred again. The other office, the aforementioned law office, the coworker’s behavior was only addressed once even though I complained to management multiple times and I finally ended up quitting. She is still employed at the office.
Some environments are totally accepting and there are no issues even if coworkers are hateful. It depends on the management and whether they are both accepting and willing to step in if necessary.
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Thanks, Amber!
What is your experience of being LGBT in Alaska? Leave a comment below, or email us directly at Bent Alaska @ gmail .com (without the spaces), and we will include your response in a follow up post. And if you have another topic you’d like to see on Bent Alaska, please tell us about it!
NAACP’s first LGBT Town Hall: Gay Rights are Civil Rights
Comedian Wanda Sykes, who is performing in Anchorage next month, and CNN reporter Don Lemon headlined the NAACP‘s first ever LGBT Town Hall at the annual convention in Los Angeles last week, supporting same sex marriage and using humor to explain why ‘praying away the gay’ doesn’t work.
Julian Bond, former NAACP chair and veteran civil rights activist, gave a strong opening speech on the panel theme “Our Collective Responsibility: Overcoming Homophobia.”
He explained that the LGBT Task Force was formed in 2009 with the National Black Justice Coalition, and described the NAACP’s three-point mission to increase acceptance of black LGBT people in the African American community:
- strengthen the NAACP’s knowledge of LGBT issues and policies,
- build alliances with LGBT organizations, and
- advance awareness of LGBT issues as they relate to the programs and interests of the NAACP.
He also addressed several areas where conflict exists between the LGBT and the African American communities.
We know that black lesbians, black gay men, black bisexual people and black transgender people suffer a level of discrimination and harassment far beyond the level felt by straight black women and men.
If you disagree, or if your Bible tells you that gay people ought not be married in your church, don’t tell them they can’t be married at City Hall. Marriage is a civil rite as well as a civil right, and we can’t allow religious bigotry to close the door to justice for anyone….
For some people, comparisons between the African American Civil Rights movement and the movement for gay and lesbian rights seems to diminish the long, black historical struggle with all it’s suffering, sacrifices and endless toil. People of color, however, ought to be flattered that our Movement has provided so much inspiration for others, that it has been so widely imitated, and that our tactics, heroes, heroines and methods, even our songs, have been appropriated as models for others….
People of color carry the badge of who we are on our faces. But we are far from the only people suffering from discrimination…. They deserve the laws, protections and civil rights, too.
(Thanks to Metro Weekly for the partial transcript.)
There were several moments of controversy during the 2 hour discussion. NAACP President Benjamin Todd Jealous joined the panel and was asked why the organization has an anti-gay preacher, Keith Ratliff, on its board. Ratliff claimed in March that gay rights activists have “hijacked” the Civil Rights movement.
Jealous responded, “He did not say it in the name of the NAACP…. We have board members who hold all sorts of divergent views.”
The last speaker, transgender audience member Ashley Love, pointed out the importance of including transgender people in the discussion:
“The NAACP was founded because black people were being excluded from having a seat at the table,” she said. “So why would we as an LGBT black coalition exclude transsexual and transgender people, who are the most vulnerable, the most marginalized, the most endangered in the entire coalition?”
Other critics of the Convention noted that there were neither transgender nor bisexual members of the panel.
But the people at the town hall, and many of the news reports, agree that the first NAACP LGBT panel was a good start for the veteran civil rights organization, and could have a positive effect on the regional branches and thousands of members nationwide.
A Lesbian in the Bush: Tales of LGBT Life in a Native Village
by Angela Minor
Please welcome a new contributor, Angela Minor, with a new series on her experiences as an openly LGBT teacher in the Southeast Alaska village of Angoon. First of a multipart series.
Angela Minor is a professional freelance writer. She specializes in destination pieces, personality profiles, and civil rights commentary. Her work is published locally, regionally, nationally and internationally. Sample portfolios can be seen at iFreelance, Yahoo Contributor Network, and 10ThousandCouples. Follow her on Twitter @Angela_Minor.
Moving to a new location and starting a new job both rank at the top of the greatest-stressors-in-life list. I feel sure the data for these studies did not include relocating to a Native Tlingit subsistence village in the bush of Alaska. Nor did they incorporate information from LGBT individuals. Therefore, the stress-findings on this list paled in comparison to the “nerves” I experienced as Mal inched her way into the deep port at Angoon.
With two dogs, a bird, and a U-Haul trailer in tow, I exited the ferry M/V Malaspina (Mal) into the pouring rain and darkness. The school system had offered me a teaching job several months earlier, and this was the moment for which I had planned. Two teachers met me at the dock and guided me to the system-housing apartment. They pointed to the building and quickly departed, leaving behind admonitions to watch for bears. I knew that Admiralty Island had three bears to every person, but I didn’t think that meant in the town! After all, the island was almost a million square acres? I added this to the stress list for the night.
After sitting anxiously on the floor of the empty apartment waiting for daylight, the first visitor arrived at my door. The neighbor, a fellow teacher, came knocking with greetings and advice. “The native people will want to know why you came with a female companion,” he stated. My partner at the time was with me, so there was, in my mind, no confusion as to my demographic – female, white, lesbian. He “assured” me that in a village the size of Angoon (pop. 600) everyone would know by lunchtime. I had plainly told the hiring committee months ago, and had lived openly for many years. I did not see a problem. Honestly, the bears made me more nervous that the neighbor’s predictions.
The first day of school arrived and my little leaky pre-fab classroom was overflowing with fifth and sixth grade students. This was the day to test the new teacher, which is the rule in every school. One student in particular, let’s call him Johnny, led the charge to determine who was the leader. He danced around, shouted, told jokes, left the room, and rolled around on the floor. So I sat on the floor with him, calmly explaining that he could participate in his own education or go see the principal. He chose the principal. All was calm, until the next morning.
Before the school day began, I was summoned to the principal’s office to meet with Johnny’s grandfather. Walking up the hill to the main building, the neighbor’s predictions rushed unexpectedly into my mind. This meeting was not going to be about teaching, the classroom, or Johnny – it was going to be about me personally. As my blood pressure rose, I reviewed all the responses that every LGBT person keeps in their mind for just such an occasion.
I entered the office and could cut the tension with a knife. The grandfather’s body language was hostile and Johnny wore a look of smug victory. Clearly the meeting had begun without me. Without the niceties of introduction, the grandfather spouted out, “Why are you picking on Johnny?” Before I could inhale for a reply, he responded to his own question. “You white people always treat us like this…” My brain froze. This was not about LGBT bigotry; it was about racial bigotry. As we continued through the meeting in search of common ground for Johnny’s education, I listened carefully for any indication whatsoever of anti-gay sentiment. There was none. I could not, however, take comfort in this since the room was filled with the grandfather’s racially laden accusations and ignorance. Clearly I would have an even steeper hill to climb in Angoon.
To be continued.
