Articles in Alaska communities
Not your father’s anti-gay crusade
by Karen
The “ex-gay” conference came to Alaska last Saturday, and the LGBT community held gay-positive events to counter the ‘pray away the gay’ message. MCC hosted “God Loves You Just As You Are” with five clergy members and a presentation by Truth Wins Out. On Saturday, PFLAG Anchorage and many supportive individuals held an all-day vigil outside the conference.
Meanwhile, Karen attended the ex-gay conference. This story was written by Karen for Bent Alaska:
I attended the Love Won Out conference in Anchorage last weekend, sponsored by Focus On the Family (FOTF), and it was interesting on many levels. I went with two straight women friends from my church in Palmer.
Most of the attendees were people like the three of us. Of the 250-300 attendees and volunteer hosts/ushers, the great majority were middle-class white folks in our 30’s, 40’s and older. I saw people who looked just like my fellow church-goers and neighbors. There were also a few goatee’d guys with nose rings from the Christian youth groups.
It was not the atmosphere of hate that I had been steeling myself to endure.
Admittedly, I’ve been out of the loop since the years I worked at gay newspapers in Minneapolis, but the message of conservative Christians has come a long way from the days of sign-wavers proclaiming God Hates Fags. There was a gentleness and kindness in what the speakers shared that was unexpected. The old commercial slogan, “This is not your father’s Oldsmobile,” kept going through my mind. They went to great lengths to make the environment current and pleasant, compared to anti-gay teachings or workshops even ten years ago which were more about guilt and shame.
In the first few sessions, I didn’t find much that I actually disagreed with. Yes, many lesbian women suffer abuse in their family backgrounds. Yes, many gay men are creative and sensitive. No breaking news there, and they noted that stereotyping didn’t serve anyone. Speaker Jeff Johnston, a self-identified ex-gay who is now married with children, quipped that no one was there to say boys shouldn’t be creative or sensitive. “No one says, ‘why can’t you be more a jerk like your father?'” said Johnston.
They’ve learned to come across as more reasonable and caring. That could well be by design. Perhaps the gay community has prompted these changes over the years, pointing out the contradictions of un-Christ-like behavior on the part of groups like this one. Since the foaming-at-the-mouth venom and harsh Fire and Brimstone sermons were probably not persuasive with everyday folk who have everyday questions about their gay family members or friends, they do seem to have moderated their messages.
FOTF founder James Dobson’s introduction in the program booklet does promote “freedom from homosexuality” and the conference schedule online seems oriented towards political action. But there was nary a call to arms in the sessions I attended (I had to leave in the afternoon for work) and no one mentioned what used to be a standard, assumed parallel between gayness and pedophilia.
To their credit, I found FOTF’s theological break-out sessions more complete and thought-out than arguments I’ve heard at both LGBT-inclusive churches and my current non-affirming church.
Another way this was “not your Father’s anti-gay crusade” was the essential divide between how different Christian groups see Father God. The speakers acknowledged that the Presbyterians, Episcopalians, and one branch of the Lutheran church have become accepting and affirming of LGBT folk. But that is not FOTF’s understanding of what God asks of us on our walk towards holiness. The position taken by FOTF hasn’t changed: that engaging in homosexual relationships is outside of God’s will for humankind.
It seems evident that the LGBT community members outside the conference hold a different view of the “Father” and what we’re called to as His people. One of the friends attending with me said she saw it as discussions happening on two different planes, with no intersecting points on the crucial questions, between the protesters and folks with the FOTF point of view.
A moment of hope came for me during a session presented by Nancy Heche, mother of actress Anne Heche. She asked audience members to raise their hands if they were gay or knew a gay family member or friend. Almost every hand went up. The next question she posed was, “How many here want to see the voice of their church change in regard to homosexuality?”
Given Alaska’s very conservative base of churches, I interpreted that to mean striving for a kinder, more compassionate dialogue. Nearly a dozen or so hands went up. Perhaps this will further the conversation locally and more broadly, as Christians of all stripes seek to live out their Christianity.
Our kids don’t need changing, part 2: Local news coverage
Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight allies gathered in Anchorage on Saturday to protest the ex-gay conference. Their message of LGBT equality was echoed by the many cars who honked in support. See the photos and story: Our Kids Don’t Need Changing (part 1).
The local television news picked up the story:
Our kids don’t need changing: Anchorage gays and allies send message of LGBT acceptance outside ex-gay conference
Anchorage, Alaska – A dozen people gather at dawn in front of Abbott Loop Church on Saturday, the headlights of passing cars illuminating the rainbow flags and signs: “God Loves My Gay Son And So Do I!”, “First, Do No Harm”, “Be Yourself – We Love You!”
Behind the church, people struggling with homosexual feelings, or the homosexuality of a friend or family member, park in the back lot and enter the side door of the grey building. The front doors are locked.
The church is hosting the Love Won Out conference, with speakers preaching that homosexuality is a sin and a choice, and that gays must change or suppress their same-sex attractions.
The conference is sponsored by the Colorado-based right wing organization Focus on the Family, a group that also sponsors anti-gay legislation.
Along the street, PFLAG Anchorage and their supporters spread a message of love and acceptance to all who drive by the church.
“Our gay kids are not sick, they’re not evil, and they don’t need changing,” said Jane Schlittler, chair of PFLAG Anchorage. “We’re here so that truth wins out.”
Kirt and Roger stand together near the church parking lot. They were married in Canada, the first gay couple from Alaska to be legally wed.
“I’m here for people like Stuart Matis,” said Roger, “a young gay man in California who thought it better to put a bullet in his head rather than live with the shame that these people in the church create.”
“I grew up in a very religious background,” said Kirt. “I know about these types of programs that profess that you can change and that it’s some kind of choice to be gay. It absolutely isn’t. I’m proud to be a gay man, and proud to be married to my husband, and I’ll be proud to die that way.”
The Second Wave
As the PFLAGers move on to other commitments, a new group gathers at the intersection of Lake Otis and Abbott Road. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered young adults and their friends brought poster board, colored markers, musical instruments, food and water for an afternoon outside the ex-gay conference.
“I called all my friends to come here and protest,” said Mike, who contributed several large pizzas and a conga drum. “We’re going to tell them you can’t pray the gay away.”
Slade makes a sign saying “Honk If You (Heart) Gay People” and waves to the many honking drivers. “I’m here to protest the anti-gay ‘pray away the gay’ thing because you can’t change who you are,” he said. “You have to accept that and move on.”
Sean and Ted arrive with Ted’s mother. “We found out about Focus on the Family through watching the documentary For The Bible Tells Me So,” said Sean, a social work student at UAA. “‘Reparative therapies’ and ‘conversion therapies’ are not only ineffective but harmful. These programs are misleading the public, misleading people who are struggling with their sexual orientation, causing emotional harm and in some cases it’s devastating. I can’t sit idly by and allow the general public to accept this ignorance.”
“What they are teaching in that church is not about acceptance, it’s not about love,” said Mary, “it’s about self-loathing and fear.” Her signs say, “True Love is Unconditional” and “God Loves You Just As You Are.”
“Their hatred of homosexuals and pushing an anti-gay agenda is just not accepted here,” said Mike. “They can go back where they came from.”
Jason: An ex-gay survivor from Alaska tells his story
The ex-gay conference Love Won Out came to Alaska to promote “reparative” therapy. Jason Ingram describes their methods in his personal story.
Palmer Pastor’s Gay-Positive Book was on Mayor Palin’s Censor List
“Conversion therapy” is harmful and ineffective, say local clergy and mental health professionals
Religious Leaders and Mental Health Professionals Affirm Support for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People
- WHEN: Thursday, September 11, 2008 – 7:15 p.m.
- WHERE: Metropolitan Community Church of Anchorage, 7208 Duben Avenue, Anchorage
- WHO: Sara Gavit, St. Mary’s Episcopal Church; Rev. John Carey, Pastor of Immanuel Presbyterian Church; Rev. Beatrice Hitchcock, Unitarian Universalist Fellowship; Rev. Susan Halvor, Lutheran; Rev. Matthew Moak; Edie Bailey, Worship Coordinator for Metropolitan Community Church; Summer LeFebvre, Social Action Chair, National Association of Social Workers Alaska Chapter; Kaya Kade, President of the Alaska Counseling Association; Larry Michael, Psychologist; and Wayne Besen, Truth Wins Out.
ANCHORAGE – On Thursday, September 11, an interfaith group of leaders from Anchorage’s religious community will participate in “God Loves You Just as You Are” a forum sponsored by the Metropolitan Community Church of Anchorage to inform the parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth and LGBT adults about the many welcoming and affirming religious denominations that celebrate the diversity of God’s creation.
The religious leaders along with mental health professionals will also discuss the harmful effects of so-called “therapies” that claim to “treat” same-sex attraction. All serious mental health organizations such as the American Psychological Association have long discredited the notion that homosexuality is a mental disorder or a problem that needs to corrected.
Some ultra-conservative, radical religious groups like Focus on the Family and Exodus International continue to promote the idea that same-sex attraction is something from which people need to be “freed,” or that can or should be “overcome.”
“Medical and psychological research shows that their whole agenda rests on false assumptions: that gay and lesbian persons choose their sexual orientation; that only heterosexuality is God’s plan for humankind; and that a person can be ‘converted’ to being heterosexual,” says Pastor John Carey of Immanuel Presbyterian Church. “This mindset leads to a damaging political perspective which results in destructive and sometimes deadly scapegoating.”
While “conversion therapy” groups purport to take a compassionate approach to dealing with same-sex attraction, most mental health professionals agree that their programs are largely ineffective and potentially harmful.
According to Randy Magen, a professor of Social Work at the University of Alaska Anchorage, there are at least seven studies which suggest reparative therapy is harmful. “One central tenet of all helping professions is, ‘do no harm.’ Advocates of reparative therapy are in danger of violating that ethical mandate,” Magen says.
On September 18, the Anchorage chapter of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) will hold a support meeting for parents and family members of gays and lesbians at Immanuel Presbyterian Church.
“We do not believe that ‘reparative or conversion’ therapy should be used to ‘cure’ gay and lesbian children of homosexuality,” says Jane Schlittler, current president of PFLAG-Anchorage. “There is nothing wrong with our children. They are not sick or evil. They are just fine the way God made them.”
###
To arrange interviews in advance of the event, contact ACLU of Alaska.
PFLAG to visit “Love Won Out” in Anchorage
Update: See our vigil outside the conference, Our Kids Don’t Need Changing!
Update from PFLAG Anchorage:
We will meet on Saturday Sept 13 at 7 a.m. (the conference starts at 8) at the Abbott Loop Church (2626 Abbott Road, at the corner of Lake Otis and Abbott) to hand out flyers to the conference participants. Bring rain gear and a LGBT-positive sign (for example, “I love my gay son” or whatever is true for you.)
On Saturday morning, PFLAG families, supporters and allies will come together in Anchorage, Alaska as Love Won Out brings its so-called “ex-gay” conference to our 49th state. PFLAGers will gather outside the conference to offer support for youth attending and information for parents and families.
“Families never win at Love Won Out,” said Jane Schlittler, president of PFLAG’s Anchorage, Alaska chapter>. “The conference’s organizers maliciously target often well-meaning parents who are dealing with a difficult issue in their lives, and in the process put their kids’ well-being at risk. Make no mistake: There is far more ‘preying’ than ‘praying’ taking place at these meetings, and far more harming than healing in the doctrine of Love Won Out.”
Programs such as Love Won Out, which is a project of the far-right American Family Association, use out-moded medical theories and radical religious beliefs to justify trying to alter gay and lesbian people’s natural sexual orientation.
“Programs like Love Won Out are dangerous for kids and divisive for families,” said PFLAG National executive director Jody M. Huckaby. “Every bit of evidence available suggests that children who grow up in homes that accept them – and not try to change them – are far happier and healthier than those subjected to these anti-family tactics. It is nothing short of extremist to imply that families should do anything other than love their children as they are, and nothing short of outrageous to infer that LGBT kids aren’t fine just the way they are.”
Saturday’s event in Anchorage has sparked widespread attention and protest following reports that Wasilla Bible Church, where Republican Vice Presidential nominee Governor Sarah Palin is a member, has endorsed the Love Won Out conference. In a statement, PFLAG noted that, “It is unfair, at this point, to assume that Governor Palin endorses so-called ‘ex-gay’ therapy like that espoused by Love Won Out,” but that “Saturday’s event in Anchorage provides an important opportunity for the first GOP mom on the party’s presidential ticket to make clear that she, as a mother and a public servant, will not condone, either explicitly or implicitly, such attempts at dividing our families and hurting our kids.”
“Palin, and lawmakers of both parties, should seize that opportunity,” PFLAG said, “and stand up as boldly and outspokenly for all of our kids as much as they do for their own.”
To be part of Saturday morning’s gathering, email Jane Schlittler.
Reposted from the National PFLAG Blog
What Governor Palin needs to know about “love”
by Steve Ralls | The Huffington Post
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has made history as the first mother to be on the Republican presidential ticket, and she has the potential to bring a new perspective on issues that impact America’s children to Washington and the White House. Indeed, since her introduction to the nation last week, Governor Palin has talked passionately about her family and her commitment to her five children. Unfortunately, however, little is known about her specific policy positions on issues impacting lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender kids, their parents, schools and families. An event taking place on September 13 in Anchorage, however, could provide an important opportunity for the Governor — and other moms and dads who also serve as elected leaders — to weigh in on one of those issues . . . and take a strong stand for all families.
On Saturday, Anchorage will play host to the latest meeting of the “ex-gay” organization known as Love Won Out. The group, which proclaims that lesbian and gay youth can be “cured” of their sexual orientation, will be meeting at Abbott Loop Community Church. Ahead of the conference, however, Palin’s own church, Wasilla Bible, has promoted the meeting, saying in a letter to congregants that, “You’ll be encouraged by the power of God’s love and His desire to transform the lives of those impacted by homosexuality.”
The truth, however, is that Love Won Out is about anything but the unconditional love for, and acceptance of, LGBT kids. In reality, it is a dangerous, harmful “reparative therapy” program that has been condemned by the American Psychological Association and that has a tormenting impact on many of the young people who attend.
Governor Palin needs to know the truth about Love, and America’s parents and families need to know what Governor Palin thinks about harmful, anti-gay conferences that preach an anti-gospel doctrine of changing our kids, rather than embracing them.
Earlier this year, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) brought mothers, fathers and families from around the country to Orlando, Florida, for the most recent Love Won Out Conference. Their experiences, captured in a moving video documentary, showcase just how dangerous these conferences can be.
One after another, young people arrived at the conference with tears in their eyes and parents stoically marching them into the event against their will. The sight of supportive parents, carrying signs with slogans such as “We love our gay son just the way he is,” were answered with smiles, outreached hands and silent but obvious “thank yous” from the kids being told they were somehow “less than” because of who they love. Inside the conference, organizers told these young people – who had the courage to simply be who they are — that who they were just wasn’t good enough. Outside, loving parents stood tall to remind them that yes they were.
On Saturday in Anchorage, the same story, with different kids, will play out again.
It is unfair, at this point, to assume that Governor Palin endorses so-called “ex-gay” therapy like that espoused by Love Won Out. Most Americans, after all, can probably empathize with being part of a group, movement or congregation that they don’t agree with 100% of the time. But Saturday’s event in Anchorage provides an important opportunity for the first GOP mom on the party’s presidential ticket to make clear that she, as a mother and a public servant, will not condone, either explicitly or implicitly, such attempts at dividing our families and hurting our kids. She should seize that opportunity — as should lawmakers of both parties — and stand up as boldly and outspokenly for all of our kids as much as she has for her own.
Truth Wins Out Exposes "Ex-Gay" Myths and Asks "Where Does Palin Stand?"
Out in Alaska’s Adventure Tours for Gay and Lesbian Travelers
