Articles by E. Ross
E. Ross is the founder of Bent Alaska.
Job Opening, 1138 Benefits, Health Care Denied & Queer the Census
Gay AK: News and notes for LGBT Alaska
Job Opening: Manager for Alaska LGBT Rights Project
The ACLU of Alaska is looking for a new LGBT Rights Project Advocacy & Campaign Manager. Read the position description and learn about the ACLU of Alaska.
1138 Benefits Denied to Same-Sex Couples
Project 1138 is designed to increase awareness of the 1,138 federal marital benefits and protections denied to same-sex couples as the result of marriage inequality. For more than a thousand reasons, YOUR relationship deserves equal treatment under the law. Take a stand against inequality and share your story on Equality Forum’s Project 1138. Separate is not Equal.
The Importance of Being Counted: LGBT in the 2010 Census
The 2010 Census is being mailed to us this month, and same-sex couples can indicate our relationships, although there are no questions for sexual orientation or gender identity. Tell our legislators that gay Americans exist! It will be another 10 years before the next Census — let’s make this one count. Queer the Census.
Lambda Legal’s 2010 Health Care Report
“When Health Care Isn”t Caring: Lambda Legal”s Survey on Discrimination Against LGBT People and People Living with HIV.” The survey looks at refusal of care and barriers to health care among LGBT and HIV communities on a national scale. This data can influence decisions being made about how health care is delivered in this country now and in the future. The report can be downloaded online.
This Week in LGBT Alaska 3/12/10
The week’s LGBT events from Alaska GLBT News.
Juneau
Emma’s Revolution/ Pat Humphries & Sandy O in Concert 3/18, 7:30 p.m. Juneau Pride Chorus opens the show at Aldersgate United Methodist Church. (Emma’s Revolution will also perform in Sitka and be live guests on KTOO radio.)
SEAGLA Social Fridays (6-8 p.m.) for GLBT people and our friends over 21, at The Imperial Bar.
Fairbanks
UAF Gay-Straight Alliance Meeting 4 p.m on Friday in the Alumni Lounge.
Wednesday Social at 9 p.m. Contact Joshua for the current location.
Mat-Su Valley
Mat-Su LGBT Community Center in Palmer is open M-F 5-8 p.m. (except 6-8 on Wed.) The social group meets Wednesdays, 5-6 p.m. at Vagabond Blues.
Anchorage
Over Coffee: A Conversation For Gay Partnership & Conservative Faith 3/12, 8-9:30 p.m. at Metropolitan Community Church.
OUT’s “Pop Superstar Night” Drag Show 3/13, 7 p.m. in the UAA Commons. Imperial Court judges, MC Paige, and stand up comedy by Colleen Crinklaw at intermission. Tickets $5, half of all proceeds donated to the GLCCA.
Holcombe Waller performing at Out North 3/12-3/14 at 7:30 p.m. & 4 p.m. on Sunday.
MCCA Chili Cook Off 3/14 at 3 p.m., following the 2 p.m. Sunday service.
Alaskans Together Anchorage organizing meeting 3/14, 4 p.m. at the GLCCA
Gay Games presentation and Team Alaska 3/17, 7 p.m. at the GLCCA
Words matter on DADT polls, but labels keep us apart
Jeanette writes about health care and democracy on the blog “Day to Day Democracy Alaska” and sometimes about LGBT issues. In “Words, Words, Words” she responds to an article on the words used in opinion polls about the military’s gay ban.
The New York Times and CBS recently released the results of a survey on repealing ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ They found that more people support letting gays and lesbians serve in the military than letting homosexuals serve. What? It seems that words really do make a difference:
In the poll, 59 percent say they now support allowing “homosexuals” to serve in the U.S. military, including 34 percent who say they strongly favor that. Ten percent say they somewhat oppose it and 19 percent say they strongly oppose it.But the numbers differ when the question is changed to whether Americans support “gay men and lesbians” serving in the military. When the question is asked that way, 70 percent of Americans say they support gay men and lesbians serving in the military, including 19 percent who say they somewhat favor it. Seven percent somewhat oppose it, and 12 percent strongly oppose it.
Jeanette takes issue with our dependence on any labels, and instead encourages us to reach out to others as people and get to know them as individuals:
Why must we care what word we use to describe ourselves in this world. Truly, no word can describe a person, or do much to resolve one person’s prejudice against another. The need to provide equal protection was conceived to protect people from the damage inflicted by a word or a combination of words. Because of equal protection under the law, I am not allowed to extend or deny to my fellow citizen access to basic necessities such as food, shelter or income because I may believe that a person’s character and worth can be defined by the color of their skin, their ethnic heritage or their ability to physically function at my level.We cut ourselves off from so very much in this world, from potential allies, acquaintances and friends, when we allow ourselves to place people in boxes defined by words, and bullet phrases based on physical characteristics, or even outward mannerisms. We certainly deprive ourselves when we rely on the comments of others to determine with whom we may be compatible. Many amazing, spiritually mature and gifted leaders have throughout human history declared that to understand someone, one must take the time to know that person as an individual. By no other means can one ascertain whether another human being be friend or foe.I wrote this comment, and I will end the article with it. May we all step out of our comfort zones in order that we find greater comfort in the companionship of others who we may not at first trust or understand. It works. I speak from experience. Some of the greatest lessons taught to me have been from those whom at first I did not trust:What I long for more than anything else is to have a person simply ask me about my life – not my lifestyle, my agenda, or attempt to define my label. I am, above all else, a human being. I do not wear my hair in a particular style, adorn my feet with a select brand of comfortable shoes or even regularly attend the most public of rallies or parades for the LGBT community. My parents love my partner, and her parents love me. We have the support of our family. We could not exist as a couple without that support (get back in there and work it out, then come talk to us later). I do not hide my life, but then neither do I try and define it with outward props or affectations. Should a stranger need to understand me better, I can offer no one word or combination thereof to dispel their discomfort. All I can do is to offer them a cup of coffee, a plate of food, and a moment of my time, and perhaps, should both our hearts be open and free from preconceived resentment, we might become better acquainted and less fearful of one another. This method alone has helped ease my way in life, and open doors that might otherwise have remained closed to me, and the love of my life. I thank all those neighbors, relatives, states, persons and more who took the time to get to know us and accept us with love and understanding.
Read more passionate essays and news commentary from Jeanette on Day to Day Democracy Alaska.
Emma’s Revolution in concert, Pride Chorus opens
Pat Humphries & Sandy O of Emma’s Revolution bring their music of “truth, hope and a dash of healthy irreverence” to Juneau on March 18, 7:30 p.m. at Aldersgate United Methodist Church, and Juneau Pride Chorus will open the concert with a few songs. They will also perform in Sitka and on KTOO radio.
Emma’s Revolution has traveled around the world and throughout the US spreading their message of peace and justice. As a duo, they performed at hundreds of peace and justice events over the last eight years. Their current tour is for their new CD We Came To Sing!, a collaboration with the legendary Holly Near.
Tickets can be purchased at the door, or in advance through Emma’s Revolution and are $15, or $12 for members of co-sponsoring organizations. The concert is co-sponsored by Juneau Pride Chorus, Juneau Veterans for Peace, Juneau People for Peace & Justice and Juneau Unitarian Universalist Fellowship.
During their week in Alaska, Emma’s Revolution will also perform in Sitka and be live guests on KTOO radio. On Monday March 15, they will join “A Juneau Afternoon” at 3:30 p.m. Tune in to KTOO 104.3 FM or via live streaming (click “Listen Live” in the top left logo.)
On Saturday, March 20 they perform in Sitka at the Sheet’ka Kwaán Naa Kahídi Tribal Community House. Tickets are $15 in advance, $18 at the door, no one turned away for lack of ability to pay. Advance tickets may be purchased at Old Harbor Books. On March 21, they will be adding music to the Sunday service at the Sitka Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. All are welcome.
Emma’s Revolution has been called “Smart, funny and informative. Like Rachel Maddow and Jon Stewart with guitars.” Don’t miss them.
Fly-fishing, SRS, Gay-friendly Music & Free Healthcare Guide
Gay AK: Notes from and for LGBT Alaska
Free Fly-fishing Retreat for Breast Cancer Survivors
The Casting for Recovery Alaska program is accepting applications to attend our 2010 summer retreat on July 9-11. This 2-night weekend features flyfishing instruction, all meals & lodging on a quiet lake outside Wasilla, and the support of other women breast cancer survivors (including optional support program in the evening) – for free. No fishing experience required! Apply online at Casting For Recovery Alaska by April 30th. Fish on!
Sexual Reassignment Surgery is tax deductible
A few years ago, a transwoman tried to deduct the medical expenses of SRS from her taxes and was denied by the IRS because they said it was cosmetic surgery and not medically necessary. On Feb 2, a federal court affirmed that SRS is medically necessary and not cosmetic. Along with the American Medical Association resolution saying the same thing, insurance companies will hopefully drop one of their main arguments for the discriminatory “transgender” exclusion, that it is a cosmetic procedure. Also: FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) will soon be available in Anchorage, Alaska!
Local Irish Band Seeks Gay-Friendly Gigs
Back Alley Banned plays traditional Irish music around Anchorage. “Since Mayor Dan Sullivan vetoed the anti-discrimination ordinance last summer, I’ve had my own small boycott of the McGinley’s Irish Pub of which Sullivan is part owner,” writes banjo player Heather Resz, “and my band declined the offer to play at the bar for St. Patrick’s Day. If you know of a nice gay-friendly venue that needs an Irish band any time, Back Alley Banned is available.”
MCCA Looking for Guitarist/Pianist
Metropolitan Community Church of Anchorage is an Inclusive Church looking for an additional half-time musician with strong guitar and vocal skills to play in our weekly worship services. We are a thirty plus member Christian church that includes a diverse worship service for a church of GBLT, affirming, and straight congregants. Candidate will work directly with the Worship Leader to construct meaningful, Spirit-filled worship. Students/Interns welcome. Interested applicants may submit a letter of interest or resume with to MCC Anchorage 2222 East Tudor Road, Anchorage, AK 99507.
PFLAG Releases New Healthcare Publication for Allies
PFLAG’s Straight for Equality project announced the release of its newest publication, Straight for Equality in Healthcare. For many LGBT people, accessing healthcare can be difficult because they often do not know how their healthcare provider will react to their sexual orientation or gender identity. This new publication and website were developed to provide a solution that demonstrates to providers why it’s important to be inclusive, give concrete steps they can take to creating a comfortable environment for LGBT patients in their practice, and much more. Visit Straight for Equality to view the website and download the free Straight for Equality in Healthcare guide. A new chapter workbook that you can use to create welcoming healthcare environments in your community is coming soon. Contact PFLAG national for more information.
Femme Fatale fundraiser returns to Juneau
Juneau’s hottest event of the year is the Four A’s Femme Fatale shows, on Friday, March 26th AND Saturday, March 27th. (Each show is unique, so mark your calendar for both.)
Tickets are $15 a piece or $25 for tickets to both shows. All the proceeds will benefit the Alaskan AIDS Assistance Association‘s Juneau programs.
Friday night’s event takes place at The Rendezvous, doors open at 9 p.m. and the show begins at 10 p.m.
Saturday night’s event is at The Baranof Hotel, doors open at 9 p.m. and the show begins at 10 p.m..
Tickets can be purchased in Juneau at Hearthside Books, the Baranof, Rendezvous, Triangle and the Four A’s Juneau office. Or, call 1-800-478-AIDS to purchase tickets over the phone with a credit card.
Surfacing, New Pride site, Arctic Heat winners, Youth Drop-Ins, & DC Marriage
Gay AK: Notes from and for LGBT Alaska
Holcombe Waller at Out North 3/12-3/14
Portland-based performer Holcombe Waller presents a 1-hour performance combining excerpts from two song-driven works: “Into the Dark Unknown (The Hope Chest),” a theatrical folk concert combining songs, storytelling and video imagery, and a new work titled “Surfacing,” an silent film with live musical accompaniment that explores the universal themes of love, identity and language arising in the debate for GLBT equality. Watch a video excerpt from “Into the Dark Unknown (The Hope Chest)” and check out Holcombe Waller’s website. Tickets at Out North Theatre 3800 Debarr Road, Anchorage.
Saturday Youth Drop-In meets twice a month
Identity Inc. and “QrSA” (queer and straight allies) are pleased to announce that the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Anchorage will be hosting a new bi-monthly Saturday drop-in for youth ages 13 to 19 only. The drop-ins will take place from 12-3pm on the first and third Saturdays of the month. The community center will be open to the general public afterwards, from 3-6pm.
Alaska PrideFest’s new website
This year’s PrideFest theme will be “Alaska Pride 2010: A Pride Odyssey” and we have a new website: www.alaskapride.org. The old website is still active and current, and we will complete the transition after this year’s PrideFest so you can still find all the PrideFest information at www.anchoragepride.com. We are also excited to have full state wide representation – we have planners from Fairbanks and sponsors from Juneau – and this year will certainly be an exciting PrideFest. Check out the new website to see this year’s logo!
Introducing the new Arctic Heat title holders
The Last Frontier Men’s Club is pleased to announce their new title holders: Alaska Cub – Shane, Mr. Bear Alaska – Kirt, Ms. Alaska Leather – Sarah, Mr. Alaska Leather – Tom. Congratulations to the new title holders! (pictured right.) Thanks to all the contestants, and to everyone who attended Arctic Heat Weekend and supports the Bear and Leather Community and TLFMC. We would like to invite men over the age of 21 to get involved in our gay men’s social club, The Last Frontier Men’s Club.
Same-Sex Marriage now legal in Washington D.C.
Washington is now the sixth place in the nation where same-sex marriages can take place. Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont also issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Gay-rights advocates hailed the day as a milestone for equal rights as same-sex marriage became legal in the nation’s capital. The law survived Congressional attempts to block it, and US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts rejected a request from marriage opponents to put the new law on hold. The first D.C. same sex marriages took place on Tuesday, March 9.
Rev. Bess on DADT and the business of marriage
Rev. Howard Bess is a retired American Baptist minister who lives in Palmer, Alaska, and an ally of the LGBT community. This essay on gay equality – in church, in the military and in government recognition of relationships – appeared in the Religion section of the Mat-Su Frontiersman:
———
“Don’t ask, don’t tell” is everywhere
I have been involved in advocacy for justice for our gay citizens for over 35 years. I have long been an advocate of full acceptance of gay people in our churches. No position in our churches, including the office of ordained clergy, should be denied. No blessing of our churches should be withheld. Gay people are ordinary folk. They live in our communities in abundance. For churches to impose different standards on our gay neighbors is a grand absurdity.
The time is long past to welcome our gay friends in our churches.
Along side the struggle for gay acceptance in our churches, is the pursuit of equality under the laws of our country. Under what provision of our Constitution can we possibly deny gay people the honor of serving in the military? Under what provision of our Constitution can we deny the same legal privileges and protections to committed gay couples that we provide to heterosexual couples?
As the discussions and arguments have developed, specific concerns have crystallized. Within the churches’ discussions, ordination and marriage have become central. In the realm of governmental bodies, service in the military and legal recognition of gay couples are core issues.
Fifty years from now, I have no doubt about the standards that will be commonly acceptable. Gay people will serve freely in the military. Discrimination based on sexual orientation will be long gone. Most denominations will have congregations that are served by gay priests and ministers, who have partners. Gay couples will associate freely with heterosexual couples. Americans will look back with amazement that discrimination against gay people was ever accepted, advocated and defended.
Just as we look back and wonder how we could have ever denied women the right to vote, so we will also look back and wonder how we could have denied gay people basic rights and privileges.
Just as we look back and wonder how we could have tolerated slavery based on race, so also we will look back and wonder how we could have treated gay people so shabbily.
What will it take to put this nightmare of injustice behind us?
The easiest part is to get rid of “don’t ask; don’t tell.” To rid our military branches of this burden, an act of Congress is needed. I suspect the votes are present to pass the legislation. Opposition by military leaders is rapidly melting away. Implementation will be smooth and simple. In the past few months, [hate crimes] legislation that covers sexual orientation has been passed by Congress and signed into law.
The thorniest issue to be resolved is marriage. As the argument has developed, the word marriage has become the issue. Gay activists want the word. Religious bodies want to protect the word from legal use by gay couples. Government has become unnecessarily entangled in the conflict. A growing number of people are saying that the real issues are justice and equality, not marriage. I could not agree more.
Much of the responsibility for the confusion lies at the feet of churches and ministers. A wall of separation between churches and government has served our nation very well. As a Baptist and an advocate of the wall of separation, I ask myself, “Why are religious bodies and their ministers involved in legalizing marriage? Have we become unnecessarily entangled in an issue that is not ours?”
The system now works like this: A couple who wants legal benefits for their relationship goes to the courthouse or the city hall and gets a license to marry. The couple sometimes goes to a judge, a mayor, or (in Alaska) a willing friend. More often a couple finds a willing minister. There are no particular words that must be uttered. The important step is that someone signs the license and returns it to the appropriate governmental office. There is nothing intrinsically religious about the process.
I once knew a retired minister who hung around the city clerk’s office. His services were on the spot. He made a nice living. He had no personal or religious relationship with his clients. It was a business proposition. This is an unusual illustration, but it serves a point. Is this the system churches want to legally protect by enshrining the word marriage?
Churches and ministers should get completely out of the business of legalizing human relationships by whatever name. We should not be servants of government in any circumstance.
To my many gay friends, I ask, “Why are you hung up on the word marriage?” Turn loose of the word. Your real issue is equal rights under the law.
There are many couples, gay and non-gay, who want the blessing of God on their relationship. It is the job of clergy to formalize that blessing. I have come to the conclusion that such a service should have nothing to do with legalizing their relationship. It is a profoundly religious service. Furthermore, in such a setting the relationship can be called anything the minister and the couple want.
Representatives of all parties involved need to get together and formulate a workable system. We are involved in a disagreement that has lasted much too long.
Advice from a (former) Hater: Gay in small town Alaska
Memoirs of a Badman is a blog about a gay family in rural Alaska. The blogger, identified only as Z, writes about life with his bipolar husband K, and K’s young daughter A. In this post, a homophobic neighbor sees that Z and K are going through a difficult time and offers support and advice, with unexpected consequences:
——
Have you ever got the best advice from your hater?
That might not be the exact thing that happened to me, yet it was pretty much the same.
On a pretty frigid sunny (or sunny frigid) winter noon… well, it was past 3 so it must have been afternoon. Anyway, me and A were out enjoying ourselves. Actually she was trying her brand new bike with Pinkie sitting in the front seat aka the yellow plastic basket.
As usual I was half mad, half worried and slightly happy sharing the joy of riding something as cool as a pink new bike with little A.
My reasons were clear: after long hours of negotiating (read begging on my knees), K’s former boss accorded giving a job to K. Since no one is crazy enough to come to an icy hell at this time of year when the temperature tends to go below 0, K’s job was still vacant, so in reality he got his old job back. So the following day K was going to work after several jobless months and to me he looked anything but ready.
Firstly, most of the weekend he was sick with stomachache.
Secondly, he was still sleeping 12+ hours a day.
Thirdly, he looked extremely depressed.
Lastly, he made me worried and helpless not knowing what to do.
To sum it up, I knew there was something I could do, however I had no idea what it was.
Deeply consumed in my thoughts, we reached A’s favorite place, the Pinkie’s park.
Excitedly she ran to the play-ground, ignoring the possibility of her bike hitting the ground, so I had to loosen my thoughts and cover the distance to grab the bike before experiencing any close contact with the ice beneath. Thanks God I’m not that old yet and I can still react quick enough.
The night in AK approaches fast, besides the darkness and cold is not something you want to face often, thus we had to return home soon.
Walking down the street, oblivious to my surroundings, the only thing that could catch my attention was the tires screeching on the icy road.
“Hey Z, it’s gettin dark, let us give you a ride.” The driver said stopping a few inches away from A’s bike. It was our neighbors.
Though the lady is extremely friendly, her husband is so different and amuses me to no end. Before going to Boston, he looked like one of the gay-bashing crowd, however, since our return, he’s become unbelieving friendly. The reason is still unknown but I will share as soon as I find out.
With no intention of turning into ice blocks, I accepted their offer. 10 minutes later, A and pinkie were back to their carrot party and the couple was sitting on the warm and cozy couch, ready to taste the new recipe I made for lunch, salmon sushi rolls.
K didn’t like it but A absolutely loved it so I needed more volunteers to decide on making it again or not.
******
“Why don’t you seduce him?” E, the neighbor, blurted out while helping me with cleaning up.
“Excuse me?” I was pretty sure we were not on the same page.
“K’s your husband, isn’t he?”
“Not here. Anyway, what’s your point?”
“As far as I know there’s no husband-wife role/boundary in gay relationships, right?”
I nodded.
“So what are you waiting for? You don’t think it’s his responsibility to always initiate everything, do you?”
“Initiate what? You don’t have any idea what you are talking about. I’m giving him some time and a little space. That’s it.”
I shrugged my shoulders and started covering the plates with washing liquid (maybe too much of that).
“You are letting him go, losing him. If you’re not willing to do anything on your own, me and H (his wife) are more than willing to help.”
“Correct me please. Wasn’t it you a while ago who asked your wife not to ever talk to the queer couple living next door? Weren’t you the one who left your garbage at our front door? Weren’t you calling us names not long ago? Should I continue or is it enough?”
He went quiet and I bit my lower lip not to say something I might regret later, rolled up my sleeves and dug deep in the sink to find the invisible spoons.
But the silence was cutting deep into my conscience. I knew I didn’t have to be mean to the guy who tried hard to be nice, but I was pissed off with all the people pretending to be nice to us when they were all S.O.B.s.
“Sorry for harassing you guys, I didn’t know you well at the time and misjudged you.” He broke the silence standing close to me. Too close actually that he was right in the middle of my private space, shredding it to pieces. I could feel his warmth and smell and it felt so good I wanted to lean my head on his shoulder, I wanted to feel his skin under mine, I wanted to smell him, taste him, devour him…………….
WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING? I nearly crashed my head against the cabinet when he rested his hand on my shoulder.
“My wife adores you guys and missed you a lot. It’s good to have you back, we thought you weren’t coming again. She will feel devastated to lose you or see you break-up.”
I almost didn’t hear his explanation, still shocked of my own thoughts… God what was wrong with me? I’ve never fancied another guy, let alone a homophobic one.
******
Follow the adventures of Z and K, their daughter, relatives, and neighbors in rural Alaska on the blog Memoirs of a Badman.
Arctic Heat 2010
Arctic Heat Weekend is here! Come out and support the men and women candidates for Alaska Bear Cub, Mr. Alaska Bear, Mr. Alaska Leather, and Ms. Alaska Leather during this weekend of Fur and Leather fun.
Here’s the schedule, from The Last Frontier Men’s Club:
Meet & Greet
Friday, February 26th 8 PM @ the Raven, FREE
This will be your first chance to meet all the contestants and judges for the contest. We’ll have food, raffle items, a slave auction, and other Men’s Club goodness. This is a great time to meet new members of the club and get information about club events.
Arctic Heat Competition
Saturday, February 27th @ Mad Myrna’s
8 PM Doors Open, 9 PM Contest Starts
Tickets: $10.00
All candidates will be judged on the following three areas: Bar Wear, Fetish Wear, and Full Title Attire. We’ll have live entertainment, door prizes, auctions, and of course hot hairy men, and hot leather daddies (of all genders.)
Victory Brunch
Sunday, February 28th @ Mad Myrna’s
11 AM Cocktail Hour, 12 PM Brunch
Ticket: $15.00
Celebrate the victories of our new title holders. We’ll have a delicious buffet style brunch and fun entertainment.
* * *
A note from the Men’s Club: The Last Frontier Men’s Club has dropped it’s membership fee. The club recognizes that during difficult economic times it maybe challenging to some of our members to pay dues, so we have decided to go dues-free. But we are still a members club, and you must submit a membership to be an official part of the club. This membership helps us verify that members are over 21, are male, and are currently living in Alaska.
Half Naked Pictionary is another Men’s Club event, happening on the 1st Wednesday of every month, at Mad Myrna’s from 9-11 p.m. Come have fun with half naked men this Wednesday! Hosted by Men’s Club President Tom.
