We recently posted a letter from a grad student and a letter from a gay couple asking for similar advice: What is it like to live and work in Alaska as an openly-LGBT person?

Our readers responded, sharing their reasons for living in Alaska and their experiences as LGBT. We’re posting their stories in a series called Choosing Alaska.

This reply is from Mike.

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I grew up in rural northern Arizona. Growing up I always knew that I was gay but never knew it was an option. I lived life the way everyone else did and expected me to. It wasn’t until I went to college that I realized it might be possible to be gay. It was through support groups, friends and a process that lasted several years that I finally was confident enough to come out.

After graduation from college, I came to Alaska and worked in the tourism industry. This helped with my internal struggle as the industry has many gay and lesbians who work in the industry. I was in Alaska for five years and loved it. I never ran into any issues with who I was. I also wasn’t broadcasting the fact that I was gay either. But if someone asked I told them.

I moved to Seattle and what an experience that was! I explored the gay life and got to see what the city had to offer. It was fun to experience but it really wasn’t me. I was in a relationship for eight years and when it ended, I realized just how unhappy I was living in the city. Despite it being full of openly gay men, I was getting no interest from anyone. I was miserable in my job and painting myself into a corner where I was soon to be stuck. All my friends were up here in Alaska.

I came for a long weekend to visit. I surprised my friends and just showed up one day. The second thing out of my mouth was “I’m moving back up here!” I hadn’t even given it a thought yet it came out so easily. After the visit I went back to Seattle and within three months I was living in Alaska. I went from a condo on Queen Anne with a view of the city skyline and the Space Needle to living in a dry cabin out in Goldstream and I had never been happier!

I became very comfortable with being a gay man in Seattle. I had photos of my partner on my desk at work. I talked openly about what me and my partner had planned for the weekend or trips we had planned, just like everyone else. Living here in Alaska, that is very different. I have “reeled it in” so to speak at work. I’m not as open about being gay. But again, if asked, I’ll tell.

That said the people I have surrounded myself with are open and accepting people. I am 100% out with them. I have no doubt my boss knows I’m gay and doesn’t care. She’s pretty freaking cool. We just haven’t ever talked about it.

I think one can easily live the gay life up here in the Last Frontier. But I think it’s what you want out of life that determines if you do or not. If have found that people up here don’t really care what you do behind your bedroom door, they just don’t want to know about it or hear about it. But people here seem to be like that about anything. “Believe whatever you want, just don’t push your beliefs on me.”

I was living the typical gay life in Seattle and I was miserable. I’d say I was 90% miserable and 10% happy. Since I moved back almost four years ago, I’m 90% happy, 10% a little unhappy. That could be resolved by meeting the one and living happily ever after. But if that doesn’t happen, I’m good with 90%. Much better than the 10% in Seattle.

For me, I decided what was most important to me. Living with my friends, living in a place where I could camp, hike, kayak, explore….that was all very important to me. I love living in a place where just existing was a challenge. Easy access to gay bars and gay men…not so important. If it were, I would have stayed in Seattle. Every once in a while I get the urge and I just head to Anchorage for a long weekend and have a night out there and that satisfies me.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you want and what you want to experience. If you want the open and out there life, if that’s what’s going to get you to the 90%, maybe think of somewhere Outside. If living in a place that offers you’re the activities you want, the friends that you have, oh and by the way you happen to be gay, then a happy life up here is possible.

I am by no means speaking for anyone other than myself. This is just my approach to life and how I came to the decision to be living here.

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Thanks, Mike!

What is your experience of being LGBT in Alaska? Leave a comment below, or email us directly at Bent Alaska @ gmail .com (without the spaces), and we will include your response in a follow up post. And if you have another topic you’d like to see on Bent Alaska, please tell us about it!